Flushing, Queens

Headed to a handful of Halloween parties last night, we hit the town dressed in honor of Jess’ favorite TV show.

Jess as Fran “The Nanny” Fine, in vintage Adolfo:

Me as Max Sheffield, with the ugliest tie sold at Housing Works Thrift Shop:

And, a close-up of Jess’ wig, which pretty much deserves separate billing as a third character, especially given the number of people who thought it was real:

[Special thanks to Nina Gold, for coming up with the idea, to Teen Vogue beauty editor Eva Chen, for mid-evening reapplication of gray hair streaking, and to the inimitable Nic Rad and Laura Lane, for braving Katz’s at 2:00AM.]

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Get to Work

“The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and somthing else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case.”

– Chuck Close [Here, Via]

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Bring Out Your Dead

Union Square was full of zombies this morning.

Not real ones, admittedly, but actors dressed in torn, bloodied clothing, with white painted faces spattered in blood.

They were part of a brilliant guerilla campaign for AMC’s new show, Walking Dead, which sent zombies out on the town in 26 cities around the country – a relatively low cost way to drive buzz for the series across the news world and the blogosphere.

In Union Square, the zombies drew quite a crowd: onlookers laughing, tweeting, shooting the scene with phone-cams.

But, weirdly enough, the Zombies and I also rode the subway together, starting up at 49th St., when a dozen of them and I both boarded the same car of a downtown R train.

The zombies stayed in character for the whole ride, staggering around, drooling, making odd noises. But in the train, they pulled a totally different reaction. By and large, the riders completely ignored them.

Problem is, staggering, drooling, and odd noises don’t stand out much on a New York subway, where mentally ill homeless are a too common part of the morning commute.

Perhaps it’s a sign of the terrible desensitization – even dehumanization – inherent in city life. But zombies and the homeless apparently fall in the same category for most New Yorkers – something we don’t want to think about, at least when trapped together awkwardly in the enclosed space of a subway car.

On a train, we don’t have the luxury of physical distance, so we create it psychologically – we avoid eye contact, make overly casual displays of looking around everywhere else. If we all collectively ignore someone, we seem to think, it almost means they don’t even exist.

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Blue Plate Special

If the Mobile Chicken Sex post left you wanting to join CrossFit NYC, here’s your chance to do it on the cheap:

CFNYC is Bloomspot’s deal of the day until Wednesday at Midnight. One offer is already sold out, but the other has a few slots left, and will get you up and running with CrossFit at a substantial discount.

[Also, as many of you live outside of New York, and many more of you (including the New Yorkers) are far too busy and lazy to head to a gym either way, I’ve been experimenting with shooting iPhone videos to teach a few short workouts that you can do on your own, anywhere. They may fall short of the full CrossFit experience, though they also doubtless beat sitting on the couch as your ass slowly expands all winter long. Stay tuned.]

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Mobile Chicken Sex

All chicks, male and female baby chickens, look more or less precisely the same. Yet the females grow into hens – able to lay eggs – while the males grow into roosters – no eggs, just lots of noise.

The brutal reality, then, is that breeders want to kill the roosters as young as possible, before wasting months of feed, space, and care on those unwanted birds.

Hence the chicken sexer: a professional able to divine the chicks’ genders at just a day old.

Apparently, however, chicken sexers can’t, by and large, explain how they know the gender. Instead, new chicken sexers learn their craft sitting at the side of an experienced sexer, watching the pro sort male and female, male and female, for months at a clip, until they, too, can reliably spot male or female themselves.

By now, after six years of owning CrossFit NYC, after having watched literally thousands of people learn perfect form on movements like the squat, pullup, and deadlift, I’ve begun to feel a bit like a chicken sexer of human movement.

I see someone come in the door of the gym, and even before they start working out, I can already tell that they have low back pain or shoulder pain, that they have tight hip flexors or calves, that they’re unable to squat to full depth or lock a weight out overhead.

And, of course, I notice it outside the gym, too. The difference is, if I tell one of our members at CrossFit NYC that they might want to stretch their external hip rotators, they’re usually grateful for the insight. Whereas, if I inadvertently blurt out as much to someone in my apartment building’s elevator, I get looks that put me on par with Silence of the Lambs‘ Buffalo Bill.

Still, I can’t help it. The vast majority of rotator cuff tears, blown ACLs, replaced hips – the movement injuries of modern life – could be easily avoided, with just a little time and attention spent on fixing imbalances and dysfuction before they spiral all the way to breakdown.

If any of you want to dork out, I’m happy to recommend a dozen great books on the topic. But, for most people, I now have a far simpler, faster recommendation:

The Mobility Workout of the Day.

The site’s about two months old, started when Kelly Starrett, a doctor of physical therapy in San Francisco (as well as an owner of San Francisco Crossfit, a national champion whitewater rafter and kayaker, and a generally smart and excellent guy) started shooting short videos of himself with his new iPhone.

The premise is simple: prescribing ten minutes or less of guided, high-impact stretching each day.

Whether you’re an athlete looking to maximize performance, or just a desk jockey looking to make it through the work day without your back freezing up, the Mobility WOD is a great place to start.

Besides, it’s only ten minutes. Certainly, not permanently jacking yourself up should be worth that kind of investment, no?

If you’re feeling saucy, I’d recommend starting from the beginning, with the first post, as you’ll learn a huge amount from each one, though you can also safely jump in at pretty much any point.

Stretch it out! Or don’t. But then don’t complain to me when everything hurts.

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[A bit more housekeeping: all of the old haiku that lived in my sidebar. I’d given up on these even before switching to this new site, but would like to keep the record of them nonetheless.]

condensation formed
on my air conditioner
falls like summer rain

Te o uteba
kodama ni akuru
natsu no tsuki
– Basho

[I clap my hands
dawning in the echo
the summer moon]

“Mayonaka ya
Furikawari taru
Ama-no-gawa”
– Ransetsu

[“The dead of night.
Behold the Milky Way
Its situation is entirely changed.”]

“A lightning flash:
between the forest trees
I have seen water.”
– Masaoka Shiki

as spring flowers bloom
a time in my own life too
for new beginnings

early morning flight
en route to Park City for
Sundance yet again

not Jewish new year
but still a needed time for
cheshbon hanefesh

the first cold shower
even the monkey seems to want
a little coat of straw
– Basho

trees release fall leaves
then through quiet months rebuild
to spring beginnings

working round the clock
principal photography
creeps up day by day

still barely springtime
yet sun beats hard as summer
on midtown lunch crowds

three years of haiku
have I started to run out
of topic ideas?

a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

done with jet-setting
now en route to JFK
glad to come back home

the blog lies fallow
victim of cyan’s success
and my lack of time

so much work to do
yet too sick with winter flu
to be productive

one step into the
water, then one step more; soon
we’re over our heads

last autumn leaves fall
onto new york winter streets
as cold rain drizzles

how i love you Jess
totally adorable
yet totally nuts

jessica tells me
it’s time to change the haiku;
my last was ‘whiny’

jessica tells me
it’s time to change the haiku;
my last was ‘whiny’

like an idiot
re-sprained my ankle again;
it’s back to crutches

now a married man
my life goes on pretty much
the same as before

at just past midnight
i awake as, in her sleep
Jess punches me, hard.

twenty nine years and
still no fucking clue about
what’s going on here

hot as a sauna
muggy summer air descends
on Manhattan streets

with jess out of town
I revert to single life;
will my liver hold?

memorial day
new york’s pasty thighs first see
the cruel light of day

note to self: next time,
please, don’t even think about
opening a gym

brutal hangover
from drinks at Bungalow 8
much too old for this

passover begins
as do intense cravings for
all carbohydrates

burning the candle
at both ends, I can barely
keep my eyes open

fundraising again
why did I sign up to be
an entrepreneur?

on a plane again
feeling thankful I’m not a
traveling salesman

so much travel planned
by month’s end how will I still
recognize our bed?

back to the office;
after one day, how am I
already behind?

ball drops in Times Square
as on my nearby corner
new year swings to life

snow melts to puddle,
tracked by boot from city streets,
on the subway floor

first winter snowfall
whitens dirty New York streets;
I trudge towards home

five syllables here
next seven more on this line
then one final five

amtrak to new york
brown leaves still cling to fall trees
painting the window

still shopping for rings,
counting down to question pop,
surprisingly zen.

fundraising again
for Cyan; this is when I
wish for a trust fund

No time for blogging.
No time, in fact, for even
this haiku column.

Cool spring showers fall
washing clean the city streets
slowly, the sun sets

spring hyacinth buds
on my windowsill defy
dark storm clouds outside

first snowflakes falling
outside cool office windows,
gusts of winter air

Quiet apartment,
windows closed against fall air,
newly leafless streets.

late summer shower
gives way to gentle moonlight;
leaves begin to turn

On this Friday night
your ass damn better be at
Oh in Ohio

quiet June morning
winding paths through Central Park
dappled with sunlight

a Sunday morning
light streams in through my window
I dream, half awake

on my window ledge
small white seagull considers
the Hudson nearby

cloudy spring morning;
I lie half awake in bed,
stare out the window.

New striped boxer briefs
will tonight be field tested
in NYC bars

with so much to do
i sit and stare at my list
unsure where to start

after a few drinks
it seems I can no longer
count syllables

With younger brother
in town, my liver is sure
to greatly suffer

Spring begins to creep
back onto streets where winter
never took full root

Twenty-three inches
unceremoniously
dumped onto our streets.

Holy fucking shit
big things brewing with Cyan;
this all just might work.

Fundraising again,
constant toll of startup life.
Buddy, spare a dime?

New York’s winter air
swirls unseasonably warm
in through my window.

Back in NYC,
catching up on piles of work,
back to blogging soon.

Rolling green duffle
packed full to seams near bursting
for trip to Sundance

Ode to MLK:
the civil rights stuff was good
but the day off rocks.

Do you mind if I,
instead of going to work,
just go back to bed?

Sitting at my desk,
buried under piles of work
like winter snowdrifts.

Really, is there a
better appetizer than
pigs in a blanket?

A brand new side-blog
wherein I self-aggrandize
in perfect haiku

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Salmagundi 1.0

[Old Salmagundi, resurrected for archival purposes:]

2010.11.01: PGA pro Ben Crane’s unforgettable ‘workout’ video.

2010.10.30: Teen idols, before and after.

2010.10.10: Google uses a self-driving car fleet.

2010.10.05: The Norton Project.

2010.09.28: This is a news website article about a scientific finding.

2010.09.20: CNN: What to do when body parts fall off.

2010.09.13: Password Reuse

2010.08.31: Drink or die!

2010.08.30: How to cook a bolognese sauce.

2010.08.30: Misleading Atari 2600 Box Art.

2010.08.07: Maslow’s hierarchy of robot needs.

2010.07.27: Watch the movie Primer for free.

2010.07.27: Girl hotness peaks at 31.

2010.07.21: One-star Amazon reviews of classic literature.

2010.07.16: Online dating lies.

2010.07.11: Debunking kitchen myths.

2010.06.07: The reoccurring prop newspaper.

2010.05.10: ‘Family values’ weaken families.

2010.05.01: Fun with secret questions & answers.

2010.04.28: Blame your allergies on global warming.

2010.04.26: My friend Colin started New York City’s first distillery since prohibition.

2010.04.08: Uncomfortable movie summaries.

2010.03.31: Scarface: The School Play

2010.03.29: Explaining the miracles of Passover.

2010.03.26: My friend Nic’s art in Wired.

2010.03.25: Or, why I graduated college.

2010.03.22:
Ben Folds improvizes to Chatroulette.

2010.03.10: Old Wired ads

2010.03.08: 8-Bit NYC

2010.03.07: Most awesome music video ever.

2010.03.06: How genetics works.

2010.03.06: Restaurant websites suck.

2010.03.01: Audiolizing the medalists’ leads.

2010.02.24: Reduce salt? Who the hell knows.

2010.01.12: Williamsurg: reality vs. real estate listing.

2010.01.08: Two Gentlemen of Lebowski.

2009.12.22: Calvin & Hobbes snow art. [Via]

2009.12.16: Perfectly preheat your pan.

2009.12.15: Tips for the iPhone Dragon Dictation app.

2009.12.09: Disney’s Jewish American Princess.

2009.12.08: The biggest disappointments of the ’00s.

2009.12.01: Our hunger for cookbooks.

2009.11.23: Alcohol protects men’s hearts.

2009.11.16: Even vampires do CrossFit.

2009.11.12: Health care or Afghanistan?

2009.11.05: Google Suggest as window into the collective mind.

2009.10.18: Bubbles.

2009.10.15: Go for it on the fourth down.

2009.09.28: Vonnegut on style.

2009.08.29: Keep berries fresh.

2009.08.22: aM Laboratory

2009.07.13: Good dancers make the fittest mates.

2009.07.07: The film industry, in a nutshell.

2009.07.02: Don’t mug retired boxers.

2009.06.06: 25 and over.

2009.05.12: Exclamation points!

2009.05.07: Ko To Tamo Peva.

2009.04.27: The crimes of Ferris Buller.

2009.04.13: Green porno.

2009.04.06: Reversing tooth decay.

2009.04.06: Dance, Polly, dance!

2009.04.05: Deepleap, a word game.

2009.03.26: Where the Wild Things Are.

2009.03.25: Understand rap.

2009.03.23: Don’t mess with police dogs.

2009.03.23: Your doctor still knows shit about nutrition.

2009.03.23: Tails of Manhattan

2009.03.18: Scanwiches.

2009.03.15: The Nietzsche Family Circus.

2009.03.15: Twitter: validation of Sturgeon’s Law.

2009.03.07: Debt vs. GDP.

2009.03.06: My father on Fast Company TV.

2009.03.06: Urban camouflage.

2009.03.01: Time management statistics.

2009.02.19: Brass monkey.

2009.02.17: The Trilogy Meter.

2009.02.17: Oscars predictions by Mr. 538.com.

2009.01.31: The mystery of the yellow line.

2009.01.31: Maira Kalman on the inauguration.

2009.01.29: Gossip Girl vs. Sesame Street.

2009.01.26: Suddenly, Hollywood seems a conservative investment.

2009.01.24: Why diets fail.

2009.01.24: Cleansing: “a large quantity of excrement, both literally and figuratively.”

2009.01.24: Obama makes black test-takers score better.

2009.01.24: What do women want?

2009.01.24: Lego inauguration.

2009.01.15:

2009.01.12: Smarter men have more sperm.

2008.12.25: Chinese food on Christmas.

2008.12.17: On the wishlist: Burger King body spray.

2008.12.14: More time = shorter letter. [Via]

2008.12.12: A message from the auto industry.

2008.12.04: Prop 8, the Musical.

2008.11.22: Happy birthday, Keith!

2008.11.22: Romney on Detroit.

2008.11.21: Chicken head tracking.

2008.11.13: Liars Poker, redux.

2008.11.07: Rahm’s top five moments.

2008.11.04: 99 Bricks.

2008.11.03: The Candy Code.

2008.11.02: Ten reasons not to run marathons.

2008.10.27: World’s best music video.

2008.10.25: Wassup! Then, and now.

2008.10.17: Buffett says buy.

2008.10.13: Stronger = less likely to die.

2008.10.02: The money meltdown.

2008.09.28: Palin’s foreign policy credentials.

2008.09.25: World’s simplest weather report.

2008.09.25: Dominoes made of dominoes.

2008.09.23: Google Maps adds subway directions.

2008.09.16: Retirement is so last year.

2008.09.13: Every Photoshop filter, used in sequence.

2008.08.29: No shit.

2008.08.25: How design can save democracy.

2008.08.24: A better, fan-made Obama ad.

2008.08.22: What kind of fish, really?

2008.08.11: Drugstore athlete.

2008.08.10: Olympics tracker.

2008.07.29: Plead the fifth.

2008.07.11: iPhone or millionaire?

2008.06.30:

The Home Stretch.

2008.06.30: Your brain knows way before your mind does.

2008.06.19:

Facebook in real life.

2008.06.12:

When candy design goes wrong.

2008.05.31:

Dr. Octopus.

2008.05.27: We Are the (Japanese) World.

2008.05.22:

Slow-motion punches in the face.

2008.05.22:

The world’s 9 worst insults.

2008.05.11:
Word problems for future hedge fund managers.

2008.04.29:

Gin, Television, and Social Surplus.

2008.04.25:

Make your own Judd Apatow movie!

2008.04.24:

How Hilary could still win.

2008.04.22:

Kashrut of imaginary animals.

2008.04.16: Belly fat = bad news.

2008.04.16: Youngme / Nowme.

2008.04.03: 60-plus and ripped.

2008.04.03: Willpower.

2008.03.31: UTexas students plagiarize honor code.

2008.03.27: Metafilter comments vs. Youtube comments.

2008.03.26: Bear naked.

2008.03.22: CrossFit in the NY Times, again.

2008.03.21: Giving makes us happy.

2008.03.13: Stand by your man.

2008.03.12: Hulu: movies, TV, free, legal and high res.

2008.03.11: Viagra now kosher for Passover.

2008.02.29: Feb. 29th = Pizza Party USA!

2008.02.19: The best films that never won Best Picture.

2008.02.18: CFNYC in the WSJ.

2008.02.17: Subprime explained.

2008.02.13: If Valentine’s Day cards were honest.

2008.02.01: Fukin’ Matt Damon.

2008.02.01: Time stops at Grand Central.

2008.02.01: Staying a step ahead of aging.

2008.01.28: One page art.

2008.01.28: Books that make you dumb.

2008.01.16: 40 essential Yiddish words.

2008.01.07: You’ve been misinformed.

2008.01.04: Removes and Prevents MGO (Male Genital Odors).

2008.01.01: Dreams of flying.

2007.12.28: Red wine fights colds.

2007.12.17: Rogue elf.

2007.12.12: Study at Yale. Online.

2007.12.11: Knowing words = feeding the hungry.

2007.12.05: Choose your candidate.

2007.11.29: Kurt Vonnegut.

2007.11.22: Soccer, while wearing binoculars.

2007.11.20: Five reasons to be thankful.

2007.11.16: New Yorkers: Do you know your subway ads?

2007.11.14: Men who look like old lesbians.

2007.11.13: Open Source Apartments.

2007.11.08: Wedgie-proof underpants.

2007.11.01: Even speed-walkers run when chased by samurais.

2007.10.31: Real Transformers.

2007.10.31: Fat people break Disneyland.

2007.10.29: Fashion advice.

2007.10.28: Fat women more jolly.

2007.10.20: Dumbledore is gay.

2007.10.17: Also, how to walk in New York.

2007.10.17: Subway exit compass.

2007.10.01: Fight age with muscle.

2007.10.01: Dining al fresco in NYC.

2007.08.22: “Life hacking” explained.

2007.08.08: NewsGrioer

2007.08.08: Diversity is bad.

2007.07.31: The five second rule.

2007.07.31: Pirates vs Ninjas.

2007.07.26: You can catch fat.

2007.07.24: Famous poems as limericks.

2007.07.20: Why I don’t allow comments.

2007.07.20: Survive a plane crash.

2007.07.11: Human Tetris.

2007.07.10: From: GEICO; To: Optimus Prime.

2007.07.05: Fake Steve Jobs talks online music.

2007.07.04: The U.S. citizenship test.

2007.06.28: Airline Complaint Letter.

2007.06.28: Best Sites for Cheap Flights.

2007.06.28: What the World Eats.

2007.06.26: Eldest Children Have Higher I.Q.s.

2007.06.24: Crazy, in Theremin.

2007.06.20: DailyLit.

2007.06.20: Greenskeeping.

2007.06.20: Learn some magic.

2007.06.19: 18 tricks to fool your body.

2007.06.18: We are the world.

2007.06.13: Judge sues for $65m over lost pants.

2007.06.11: Guitar Wars.

2007.06.04: How to talk to the press.

2007.05.22: Zen parable or just someone being cruel?

2007.05.22: The Traveler’s Dilemma.

2007.05.22: Repeating yourself helps.

2007.05.22: Repeating yourself helps.

2007.05.18: See you in Woodside.

2007.05.07: Acid + Crack + Roller Coaster.

2007.05.04: When computers chat.

2007.05.04: Peepee Teepee

2007.04.23: My 11-year-old cousin, Rolling Stone writer.

2007.04.18: SimpleWeather.

2007.04.18: Best talk show ever. [NSFW]

2007.04.17: Fast food: ads vs. reality.

2007.04.17: How to beat up an 8-year-old.

2007.04.12: Gay cars?

2007.04.12: RIP Kurt Vonnegut.

2007.04.10: Website for Miranda July’s new book.

2007.04.09: MADE: I Want To Be A Hipster.

2007.04.09: The world of Parkour.

2007.04.05: Internet Access CAPTCHAs.

2007.04.02: Internet April Fool’s recap.

2007.04.02: Men’s work wardrobe on a tight budget.

2007.03.31: Pastafarian suspended.

2007.03.29: April Fool’s pranks for nerds.

2007.03.29: Long story short.

2007.03.07: NY Mag mobile listings.

2007.02.21: Couples in the kitchen.

2007.02.17: Free TV online.

2007.02.17: Flight Patterns.

2007.02.14: Take a nap.

2007.02.13: Come intern for Cyan!

2007.02.11: Anna Nicole Smith, modern courtesan.

2007.02.06: Mac Ad: Security.

2007.01.29: Faking it at the water cooler: Super Bowl XLI.

2007.01.29: Unhappy Meals. (See also.)

2007.01.24: The Douche Card.

2007.01.21: The generic casserole recipe.

2007.01.20: Things My Boyfriend Says.

2007.01.19: Dr. Franklin’s Underarm Sweat Shields.

2007.01.12: Shake it off.

2007.01.08: Stem cells in amniotic fluid.

2007.01.05: Secrets of food photography.

2007.01.02: Joel Stein doesn’t care what you have to say.

2007.01.02: Modern Drunkard’s 86 Rules of Boozing.

2006.12.21: Blog-media cliches.

2006.12.12: In praise of chain stores.

2006.12.12: Re-dubbing the Christmas classics.

2006.12.12: Expectations change taste.

2006.12.09: The 2006 List of Lists.

2006.12.08: The Internet.

2006.12.08: The December 2006 movie preview.

2006.12.08: The top 50 music videos of 2006.

2006.12.07: Conservative Rabbis Allow ordained gays, same-sex unions.

2006.12.07: The Iraq Study Group’s Recommendations.

2006.12.06: Being Santa isn’t easy.

2006.12.05: NZ rugby team’s Maori war dance.

2006.12.04: Kina Lillet.

2006.12.04: Ancient Egyptians built Pyramids with concrete blocks.

2006.12.01: Recliners vs. Uprights.

2006.11.29: 100 top TV catchphrases.

2006.11.27: Lego bands.

2006.11.27: Riches and Hos.

2006.11.23: Diary of a turkey killer.

2006.11.20: The Top 40 Bands in America.

2006.11.18: The Game: 34 – 13.

2006.11.18: Snoop Dogg pet accessories.

2006.11.16: Looking at the Look Book.

2006.11.14: MAME OS X.

2006.11.07: Grand Theft Mario.

2006.11.06: 12 signs you drank too much last night.

2006.11.06: The Roberts Court takes on abortion.

2006.10.31: Trunk or Treat!

2006.10.31: The economics of Halloween.

2006.10.29: Post No Bills.

2006.10.29: Tragedy.

2006.10.24: Blogs bigger than Jesus.

2006.10.23: Khraigslist.

2006.10.23: Spicy Pony Head.

2006.10.23: Facial expressions are inherited.

2006.10.22: Taco Town. [YouTube]

2006.10.13: Jon Stewart is good.

2006.10.10: Bourbon & Brylcreem, a photoset.

2006.10.10: Three new
Mac ads.

2006.10.10: Stephen Colbert has America by the ballots.

2006.10.09: The biology of B-movie monsters.

2006.10.09: Opera on the cheap.

2006.10.09: Manhattanhenge.

2006.09.29: Shooting War.

2006.09.29: Marmaduke explained.

2006.09.28: Rock Paper Scissors World Championships.

2006.09.28: Dishwasher salmon.

2006.09.28: Screech Powers sex tape.

2006.09.24: Line Rider (and an astounding demo).

2006.09.22: Veritas Airlines.

2006.09.21: Blank keyboard.

2006.09.19: Business Bibs.

2006.09.11: Magnum Photos of 9/11.

2006.09.11: The New Yorker on neuroeconomics.

2006.09.11: Also testing Salmagundi. Movable Type rocks.

2006.09.06: BRINGO: Skip 1-800 phone trees.

2006.09.05: This email will self-destruct in 30 seconds.

2006.08.30: Magician Daniel Chesterfield.

2006.08.29: Hang your artwork without screwing it up.

2006.08.14: Dawn of the [knitted] Dead.

2006.08.12: Truth in Advertising.

2006.08.10: Undress in two seconds.

2006.08.09: Ten unintentionally worst company URLs.

2006.08.06:
Stupid Game Day! Orbox.

Avoision.

Four Second Fury.

Eskiv.

Gamma Bros.

Dicewars.

2006.08.04: Attractive couples more likely to have girls.

2006.08.04: OK Go on Treadmills.

2006.08.02: Reading is sexy.

2006.08.01: New York’s best cheap eats and best subway line.

2006.07.28: If you have a Mac, you need QuickSilver.

2006.07.28: Van Damm boogies.

2006.07.26: How not to act on J-Date.

2006.07.25: ‘Prophet’s Dilemma’.

2006.07.21: Cats that look like Hitler.

2006.07.19: The Big Lebowski – F_cking Short Version

2006.07.15: Dark Side of the Rainbow.

2006.07.14: OK Go – A Million Ways.

2006.07.13: The NY Times likes Ohio!

2006.07.13: Some dark thoughts on happiness.

2006.07.12: Multiplayer Asteroids.

2006.07.08: The Mario Tragedy.

2006.07.08: Animated knots.

2006.07.06: Richard Simmons on Who’s Line.

2006.07.04: The Declaration of Independence and The Bill of Rights.

2006.07.03: PornoTube. [Obviously NSFW]

2006.06.23: RETROBRICK.

2006.06.22: 1000 Arten ein Bier zu öffnen.

2006.06.21: Wal-Mart Jews.

2006.06.18: Lessons learned from dads.

2006.06.18: 3-year old loves Jim Lehrer’s ‘NewsHour’.

2006.06.17: Oral sex in accordand with God’s will.

2006.06.12: Coffee saves your liver.

2006.06.12: The kids-only ringtone. [MP3]

2006.06.06: The Monkey Chow Diaries.

2006.06.06: George Washington. [Video]

2006.06.05: Stephen Colbert’s commencement address.

2006.06.03: Mentos + Diet Coke = Bellagio water show

2006.06.01: California Academy of Tauromaquia.

2006.05.31: Visualizing websites as graphs, in real time.

2006.05.30: Ceiling Cat.

2006.05.30: “Solid Potato Salad”. [Video]

2006.05.30: Brainiac: Alkali metals. [Video]

2006.05.30: The egg came first.

2006.05.28: Women over 30 not too old to get married.

2006.05.25: Rules of the Internet.

2006.05.25: iCryptex.com

2006.05.24: Life in the fast-food lane.

2006.05.23: Females are size queens.

2006.05.19: 10 Things I Hate About Commandments. [Video]

2006.05.18: Thai specialty food.

2006.05.16: The Times-Picayune’s Chris Rose gives a commencement speech.

2006.05.15: Evolution of dance.

2006.05.14: Road trip photos.

2006.05.14: The origins of Mother’s Day.

2006.05.13: Gino Ginny.

2006.05.13: Sickipedia.

2006.05.11: Drunken monkeys.

2006.05.04: King Tut’s penis rediscovered.

2006.05.04: Shave everywhere.

2006.05.03: The Great Gatsby, by John Kenney

2006.05.03: Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

2006.05.02: Get a Mac.

2006.05.01: Google Calendar tips.

2006.04.28: Superman is a dick.

2006.04.24: MooTube [via]

2006.04.24: LASIK@Home

2006.04.20: National High Five Day! (

2006.04.19: Pinball Number Count.

2006.04.19: The Vice Guide to Russia.

2006.04.18: 4.18.06: Centennial of SF’s Great Quake.

2006.04.17: Licking your toilet seat: healthier than typing on your keyboard.

2006.04.17: TV Turnoff Week 2006.

2006.04.15: Samurai Kittens.

2006.04.13: Titanic: The Sequel.

2006.04.12: Airigami.

2006.04.10: NYTimes dumbs down headlines for Google.

2006.04.10: Doormen? No thanks.

2006.04.10: Christians sue for right to hate.

2006.04.07: Cabspotting.

2006.04.05: Cyan’s next release: The Oh in Ohio

2006.04.05: Cooking with Peeps.

2006.04.05: Macs run Windows.

2006.03.31: Things to do with Michael Jackson’s credit card.

2006.03.30: iGoatse.

2006.03.29: Skittles [via].

2006.03.28: Superheroues on the toilet.

2006.03.27: Urinal games.

2006.03.27: All Politics is Thymotic.

2006.03.23: New York: home of the nation’s dirtiest air.

2006.03.23: Beards are in.

2006.03.17: Snakes on a Plane: the official trailer.

2006.03.17: The Aural Times

2006.03.15: Ambien zombies.

2006.03.07: Dueling octopus.

2006.03.07: As feared: Blazers & Bling.

2006.03.06: Petition: Recall The Selection of Crash For Best Picture

2006.03.03: Balloon hats of the world.

2006.03.03: People proving theorems while wearing sarongs.

2006.03.01: Knock down dominoes.

2006.03.01: Get a hidden passage for your home.

2006.02.28: Why do people like MySpace?

2006.02.28: How to eat sushi, a video.

2006.02.27: Animaux.

2006.02.27: H&R Block screws up its taxes.

2006.02.27: How to tell if your professor has a liberal bias.

2006.02.24: Sustainable giving: make direct small-business loans to developing countries.

2006.02.22: The inventor of flash mobs tears hipsters a new asshole.

2006.02.21: 50 gayest / manliest things.

2006.02.21: Ending homelessness.

2006.02.17: National Geographic on love.

2006.02.16: Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoons Contest

2006.02.16: Dork mash-up: Chuck Norris / Web 2.0 facts.

2006.02.14: The Lego Suicides.

2006.02.14: Fridgehenge: in Google Maps or music videos.

2006.02.13: New record!

2006.02.12: Star Wars Valentines

2006.02.12: Top Gear: Trashed Toyota

2006.02.10: World Press Photo’s best of 2006.

2006.02.10: David Hasselhoff is hooked on a feeling.

2006.02.08: Willywarmers.

2006.02.06: Superbowl commercials.

2006.02.03: Buy your own island.

2006.02.01: A treasury of macrame owls.

2006.02.01: Five Blades! In 2006 and 2004.

2006.01.31: A digital pop-up book: BustoBot.

2006.01.20: Double your sex life: get rid of your TV.

2006.01.20: Men like revenge.

2006.01.20: The Idiotarod.

2006.01.18: Trader Joe’s hits NYC.

2006.01.18: Company name etymologies.

2006.01.10: Tracking misspellings: The Aargh Page.

2006.01.09: A novel method for the removal of ear cerumen.

2006.01.09: How to kill a lobster.

2006.01.08: Motherload.

2006.01.07: Another article on Crossfit, though this one doesn’t make us sound like wack-jobs.

2006.01.06: Schadenfreude: Anti-gay pastor arrested for soliciting gay sex.

2006.01.04: How to make snow days.

2006.01.04: The economics of movie theaters.

2006.01.02: You gotta have grit.

2006.01.01: IMSDb: The Internet Movie Script Database.

2005.12.30: Do you get less wet if you run in the rain?

2005.12.21: Knitta, please!

2005.12.19: The Chronic of Narnia. [Video]

2005.12.12: Fuck. Richard Pryor dies at 65.

2005.12.12: Artists have more sex.

2005.12.08: Holiday gifts for kids you don’t really like.

2005.12.07: Playboy. In Braille.

2005.12.07: Ricky Gervais’ podcast.

2005.12.06: The 12 Days of Kitschmas.

2005.12.06: How to make a hip end of the year ‘best albums’ list.

2005.12.05: Mom was right: cold can cause colds.

2005.12.05: Don’t mess with old ladies. [Video]

2005.12.04: The Citizen’s Guide to Refusing New York Subway Searches.

2005.12.03: Baby Bush Toys: brain food for the average child.

2005.12.01: Rare Exports, Inc.: hunting rare Santa Clauses. [Download the .mov]

2005.11.30: The Mp3 Experiment 2.0.

2005.11.30: The Best Word Book Ever: 1963 vs. 1991.

2005.11.24: Training for Macy’s Day Parade balloon handlers.

2005.11.23: Answering magazine-cover questions.

2005.11.18: Ignore this. Just troubleshooting.

2005.11.17: How to tell when a relationship is over – in 90 seconds.

2005.11.15: Secrets of the Haunted Mansion.

2005.11.14: Sarah Silveman, irony maiden.

2005.11.09: Backstreet Boys + Chinese College Kids = Video Hilarity.

2005.11.03: Panexa: excellent drug ad satire.

2005.11.02: The Legend of Jack Handy.

2005.10.31: Carlton Draught’s BIG AD.

2005.10.28: Sure, anyone can join NaNoWriMo, but can you handle NaDruWriNi?

2005.10.25: Calvin and Hobbes’ snow art.

2005.10.25: Classics for illiterates.

2005.10.25: The longest list of the longest stuff at the longest domain name.

2005.10.24: Global peace breaks out, no one notices.

2005.10.24: Lone Star Statements.

2005.10.21: Optical illusion.

2005.10.14: Shoot a long exposure and toss your camera in the air.

2005.10.13: Bald baboon.

2005.10.13: “Nerd Porn Auteur”

2005.10.12: Back when Dennis was actually a menace.

2005.10.11: Lebowski Fest comes to NYC.

2005.10.10: Adventures of an International Male.

2005.10.10: Bush! Crony Jobs.

2005.09.30: Van Morrison’s contractual obligation album.

2005.09.28: Better to buy or rent?

2005.09.27: Romanians seem to have bad luck with their penises.

2005.09.25: Learn to pronounce and spell right.

2005.09.22: Inflatable pub.

2005.09.22: JetBlue passengers watch news of their flight’s landing gear malfunction on seat-back TV.

2005.09.21: How to dress like an agent.

2005.09.20: The Science of Swearing.

2005.09.19: RPS – 15.

2005.09.19: How much New Yorkers make.

2005.09.06: Dinosaurs were fluffy.

2005.08.29: Pencil Revolution: a blog about pencils.

2005.08.18: Wikipedia on the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

2005.08.18: 10 reasons to not run a marathon.

2005.08.17: Ebert bitch-slaps Deuce Bigalow

2005.08.16: Man dies from horse sex.

2005.08.16: Porn makes you blind.

2005.08.01: Is the Aristocrats a brilliant hoax?

2005.08.01: The Brick Testament.

2005.07.26: Where to drink cheap in NYC.

2005.07.25: What would happen if Roe v. Wade were overturned?

2005.07.18: Thor rolls a joint.

2005.07.18: Twelve unmade sequels to Dances With Wolves.

2005.07.12: The Brick Testament.

2005.07.12: Preview reel from the Found Footage Film Festival.

2005.07.11: Bar Mitzvah highlight reel.

2005.07.11: Planarity.

2005.07.11: Super Timor!

2005.07.07: Patches, the domesticated pony.

2005.07.07: The wonderful world of airline napkins.

2005.07.07: Swimsuit models on The Price is Right.

2005.07.05: Snip the tip and reduce AIDS risk by 70%.

2005.07.05: Exciting links for boring days.

2005.07.03: Get in shape: come work out at the new CrossFit NYC.

2005.06.30: I Hate Horses – The Blog.
[NSFW]

2005.06.27: New York Beaches you can get to from Manhattan without a car.

2005.06.26: Film’s best death rays.

2005.06.16: On stealing music.

2005.06.16: Bands in matching outfits.

2005.06.16: “Conversations with my wife about Star Wars.”

2005.06.15: Wikipedia entry on “rocking the house”

2005.06.14: The writing’s on the stall.

2005.06.13: Google Will Eat Itself.

2005.06.13: Urban camping in Times Square

2005.06.13: IM hits Hollywood.

2005.06.09: Eat more cinnamon.

2005.06.08: Free Beethoven.

2005.06.07: David Sedaris on airline seating and crosswords,

2005.06.07: Alien-abducted children’s drawings, plus how to prevent alien abduction.

2005.06.06: Torah tech.

2005.05.31: Toilets for the plus-sized.

2005.05.27: How to bitch-slap creationists.

2005.05.26: Scrolling LED Belt Buckle.

2005.05.26: The Phallic Logo Awards.

2005.05.25: Stunt City.

2005.05.25: Tony the Tiger goes silent.

2005.05.24: How to Perform Strong Man Stunts.

2005.05.24: Get some sun to ward off cancer.

2005.05.23: The (political) science of salt.

2005.05.18: Practical Elephant Management.

2005.05.18: The Last Star Wars Supper.

2005.05.18: A final trailer: March of the Penguins.

2005.05.17: My trailer spree continues: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005.05.12: How to go to the orchestra.

2005.05.12: Narnia trailer

2005.05.09: Mind-blowing sand sculptures.

2005.05.05: Giving up on books.

2005.05.05: The Scorched Earth Party.

2005.05.05: Everything’s Coming Up Rosie: liveblogging and
montage.

2005.05.04: Cup-A-Cake.

2005.05.04: no fury like a woman scorned.

2005.05.03: Ugly kids less loved by their parents.

2005.04.29: PostSecret.

2005.04.28: Paper Napkin.

2005.04.25: 54 optical illusions.

2005.04.19: Dihydrogen Monoxide: pro and con.

2005.04.19: Jokes with realistic endings.

2005.04.19: A Passover comic

2005.04.18: My friend / trainee Jenny won the NJ marathon.

2005.04.15: So very wrong: bukkake cookies [SFW]

2005.04.15: Ask Meta on good toasts.

2005.04.12: What’s on W’s iPod?

2005.04.12: How to spell a sneeze.

2005.04.12: Collected research on tipping.

2005.04.10: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Nutritional Programs.

2005.04.07: Gender differences on IM.

2005.04.07: Paying more to eat less.

2005.04.07: The final scene of Seven, performed by stuffed animals.

2005.04.06: Playlist Anxiety.

2005.04.05: The (Annotated) New York Times.

2005.04.05: Starbucks Delocator.

2005.04.05: Google Maps adds unbelievable satellite view.

2005.04.04: The Man Scouts vs. The Man Scouts [NSFW].

2005.04.04: Teen study vindicates Clinton.

2005.03.30: The World Beard and Moustache Championships.

2005.03.30: I’m the newest addition to CrossFit’s Muscle-up Club, having managed to grind out a muscle-up.

2005.03.29: Clocky: an alarm clock for snooze button abusers.

2005.03.29: Mr. Roger’s Dartmouth commencement address.

2005.03.27: Extra! Extra! S-A attacked by aliens!

2005.03.25: You owe it to them after all those downloads: Help the Decemberists.

2005.03.25: Turn your cell phone into a home phone.

2005.03.23: The Credit Card Prank, Part Two.

2005.03.22: Friendster: The Movie.

2005.03.21: Get an MBA, Good Will Hunting style.

2005.03.20: Street brawlers: how many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

2005.03.20: The inside scoop on being a bike messenger.

2005.03.18: Research on the advantages of being short.

2005.03.17: St. Patrick’s Day planner.

2005.03.17: Angry bed positions. (SFW)

2005.03.17: Freebird!

2005.03.15: Interview with entrepreneur Fred Gratzon, world’s laziest man.

2005.03.10: Write better emails.

2005.03.09: 101 zen stories.

2005.03.09: Veteran designer Milton Glaser’s rules for life.

2005.03.07: Help needed: name Aubrey’s dog.

2005.03.07: Had to be posted: NY Mag’s Best of New York

2005.03.06: How to destroy the earth.

2005.03.05: Twinoo:
a video game face-off between the two halves of your brain.

2005.03.05: Ribbons to support ribbons!

2005.03.05: Celebrities blinking.

2005.03.04: Flirting via iTunes.

2005.03.03: A great resource for students looking to attain scholarships.

2005.03.02: Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Pirated MP3s.

2005.02.28: Science says: you reall should ‘sleep on it’.

2005.02.27: Great story on John Gilmore’s fight against I.D.

2005.02.26: Empathy and our monkey brains.

2005.02.25: Finding The A-team.

2005.02.24: Superheroes + Office Space = This Place Sucks

2005.02.24: The unwritten rules of Oscar.

2005.02.23: If your browser lacks bling: the PimpZilla Firefox theme.

2005.02.22: Every Calvin and Hobbes, ever.

2005.02.19: What every McDonald’s needs: a bathroom attendant.

2005.02.19: Abstinence-only education: Iron Hymen and Sex is for FAGS!

2005.02.18: Step aside Christo: The Somerville Gates.

2005.02.16: A collection of 24 great household tips.

2005.02.16: Research says internet dating actually works.

2005.02.14: Men: Feel left out by Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, becauseSteak and BJ Day is just a month away.

2005.02.11: Photos on Flickr of Christo’s ‘The Gates’.

2005.02.09: Cook & Tell: Confessions of a Kitchen Romeo.

2005.02.08: Consumer Reports rates condoms.

2005.02.08: The amazing, new Google Maps.

2005.02.07: Spamusement!

2005.02.07: Pre-halftime show notes from the NFL to Paul McCartney.

2005.02.03: Techniques for cutting different vegetables.

2005.02.03: Bedtime music helps you sleep better.

2005.02.02: The ever-popular State of the Union Address Drinking Game, 2005.

2005.02.02: A screensaver made from computer dreams: electric sheep.

2005.01.31: Squashed philosophers.

2005.01.31: Facts on farts.

2005.01.31: Top 100 NYC cheap eats.

2005.01.27: Meet urologist Dick Chopp.

2005.01.27: In what gender do you write?

2005.01.25: Sexual equality in topless sunbathing. (Work-safe.)

2005.01.18: what if…

2005.01.17: At what temperature does vodka freeze?

2005.01.17: A Perfect Day for Bananafish

2005.01.17: Postal experiments.

2005.01.17: Fifty tools to improve your writing.

2005.01.17: Movie cliches.

2005.01.15: Terry Gilliam + Rube Goldberg + Flash = Treasure Box.

2005.01.14: I learned to write prettily by copying this.

2005.01.11: Now you don’t have to read the comics; he’ll do it for you.

2005.01.11: The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists vs. Let Us Trim Our Hair in Accordance with Socialist Lifestyle

2005.01.10: Ceerleader Toss.

2005.01.10: McShwarma.

2005.01.10: With Payola on its last legs, will radio get worse?

2005.01.10: Cooking for Engineers.

2005.01.06: Cameramail

2005.01.04: Where the hell is ILYW?

2005.01.03: 867-5309

2005.01.03: Clever devils get the bird.

2005.01.03: “Misused” quotation marks.

2004.12.31: For old times’ sake, 20 facts about voting in the USA.

2004.12.31: This just in: tourists are idiots.

2004.12.26: Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

2004.12.23: Brilliant: Planned Parenthood turns pickets into pledges.

2004.12.22: Listen to pi.

2004.12.22: The Graphing Calculator story.

2004.12.18: The May Day Mystery.

2004.12.17: Reflex, a dangerously addictive little game.

2004.12.16: Why everything tastes like chicken.

2004.12.15: The best boy-band ever: boy o boy

2004.12.14: PubSub: adjudicating the internet popularity contest.

2004.12.12: Read this now: If we all hate consumerism, how come we can’t stop shopping?

2004.12.08: Buy your beard now.

2004.12.08: Offensively recaptioned spidey comics. (Click reload to rotate.)

2004.12.08: An interview with the always articulate Sarah B.

2004.12.04: Men: The Emotionally Unavailable Alcoholic’s Guide to Holiday Romance

2004.12.01: This is about self-reference.

2004.11.30: Elmore Leonard on writing.

2004.11.30: Why Yale is better than Harvard.

2004.11.28: Blogexplosion: “the internet’s first blog exchange.”

2004.11.28: Do It Now.

2004.11.26: What to buy a man who has everything? A penis cravat.

2004.11.25: Protect your banana.

2004.11.23: Disclaimer stickers for science textbooks.

2004.11.22: Curious what the lyrics mean?

2004.11.22: Dating website dumps serial shagger.

2004.11.22: Gallup says: only 1/3 of US believes in evolution. Oy vey.

2004.11.19: Daily Show exec. producer Ben Karlin.

2004.11.19: Count the stars: 12MANY.

2004.11.19: An interview with Israel’s chief interrogator.

2004.11.19: What to do when your co-worker is away.

2004.11.18: How to call shotgun.

2004.11.17: Oy gevalt: Yiddish lit with Dick and Jane.

2004.11.17: Punctuation substitution for undercover hate mail.

2004.11.16: Explaining attraction: the Ladder Theory.

2004.11.15: RoboDump 1.0.

2004.11.15: Unnatural selection.

2004.11.11: Fast Company weighs in on what’s next.

2004.11.11: Does balanced coverage promote bad science?

2004.11.10: Bad 80’s sweaters.

2004.11.10: Fuck the South.

2004.11.06: NBA fines Mavs owner Mark Cuban for blogging.

2004.11.05: Feed your brain: The Dictionary of the History of Ideas.

2004.11.05: Remind me why we didn’t let the South secede?

2004.11.04: America: Red & Blue or Purple?

2004.11.04: My industry, making me ‘proud’ as usual.

2004.11.03: Schwarzenegger ’08?

2004.11.03: 5 stages.

2004.11.03: Rappers’ real names.

2004.11.02: Florida off to a good start.

2004.11.01: For the 3 remaining undecideds: even the Economist is endorsing Kerry.

2004.11.01: 2004’s scariest Halloween costumes.

2004.11.01: Best. Warning Sign. Ever.

2004.10.28: God I wish these came in adult sizes.

2004.10.28: Why women date assholes, in Venn diagram.

2004.10.24: How to lace your shoes.

2004.10.23: LED porn. [nsfw]

2004.10.20: Ten years back vs. now: ow Bush’s debate skills have declined.

2004.10.20: Republican for Kerry? You’re in good company.

2004.10.19: Turn off the TV. Any TV.

2004.10.19: Attaching material ‘a’ to material ‘b’? Choose the right glue.

2004.10.18: George W. Bush: Without a Doubt.

2004.10.18: Jon Stewart takes it to Crossfire. As video or text.

2004.10.14: Bill O’Reilly. Sexually harassing hypocrite.

2004.10.12: All you need is a camera and some loose skin.

2004.10.12: Econ professors pen an open letter to the president.

2004.10.10: This is, basically, what my brother and his roommates actually do.

2004.10.08: Two sides of an issue from one politician.

2004.10.08: Is Bush wearing a wire in the debates?

2004.10.07: Ten Mistakes Writers Don’t See (But Can Easily Fix When They Do)

2004.10.07: Big business from small hits? Taking advantage of the long tail.

2004.10.07: A quick video recap of the Republican National Convention.

2004.10.07: The urinal etiquette of peeing with Bill Gates.

2004.09.20: I found some of your life

2004.09.08: The curse of Dick Cheney.

2004.09.08: Why the truth matters.

2004.09.06: Some real inventions that were predicted in sci-fi.

2004.09.03: Bush, by the numbers.

2004.09.02: Kill Bill, Vol. 1, in ASCI.

2004.09.01: RNC diary of a strip-club waitress.

2004.09.01: Debunking Giuliani’s and Schwarzenegger’s speeches.

2004.08.30: Happy tenth birthday, Wonderbra.

2004.08.29: “Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

2004.08.18: Doing a Lynndie,

2004.08.17: Seven brief interviews with Woody Allen.

2004.08.14: How not to buy happiness

2004.08.08: Add it early to your Christmas wish list: The Retro-Incabulator. [.wmv]

2004.08.06: Dscrediting Swift Boat Vet for Truth.

2004.08.06: Ever wonder what Alvin, Simon & Theodore would sound like, slowed down to normal speed? Now you know.

2004.08.05: Time for New York to secede from the Union.

2004.07.30: Jerry Falwell to give the Republican Convention opening prayer.

2004.07.29: Will Ferrell as George Bush in White House West.

2004.07.29: Ali G’s Harvard commencement speech.

2004.07.28: In a bipartisan show of support, the blue-skewing folks at Slice present G.O.Pizza, with tips for delegates on how to order and hold real New York pizza.

2004.07.26: Webloggers on the inside at the Democratic National Convention.

2004.07.26: Get fired up for the next Jackie Chan, in this hit Japanese film, coming to US late fall. (Impressive: no stunt wires or CGI were used.)

2004.07.23: Crosby/Nash ’04: “We’ll have two presidents, and between us we have vice covered.”

2004.07.22: Video for the wonderful Iron & Wine’s Naked as We Came.

2004.07.22: Schedule angioplasty later in the day, then stop in and drink some donuts.

2004.07.21: Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

2004.07.21: Cheney vs. Leahy, the untold story.

2004.07.20: Google, circa 1960.

2004.07.19: Wish your apartment could smell like a diner all the time? Now it can.

2004.07.19: Which ethical philosopher most closely represents your views?

2004.07.18: An incredibly choregoraphed bit of synchronized video game dancing.

2004.07.17: Amazon users review My Pet Goat.

2004.07.17: Blockbuster gets ready to take on Netflix.

2004.07.16: What W is not, in his own words.

2004.07.15: Possible follow-up songs for one-hit wonders.

2004.07.14: An ‘essay’ about Walt Whitman from a disgruntled honors English student.

2004.07.14: Thoughtful weblogging by the Incredible Hulk.

2004.07.12: In answer to critics, Michael Moore provides a rather extensive list of Fahrenheit 9/11 fact-checks.

2004.07.08: What politicians are your favorite celebs funding?

2004.07.06: More fine reporting from the brilliant folks at the NY Post.

2004.07.06: Just when you think marketing stupidity has reached its peak, someone comes up with ass-vertising. (Possibly NSFW)

2004.07.04: Hone your search skills with the handy Google Guide.

2004.07.02: Fortunately for me, dorks are the new hotness.

2004.06.30: Jon Stewart chats it up on Larry King Live.

2004.06.29: Bush bitch-slapped by the Supreme Court and Chirac.

2004.06.28: Paradoxically, abortions get Republicans elected.

2004.06.28: A quick blast from Internet past: Ted the Tool’s Guide to Lock Picking.

2004.06.28: The New York sex industry gears up for the Republican Convention, family values be damned.

2004.06.26: Star Wars + Office Space = Office Space Wars. (30mb .wmv)

2004.06.26: “The Parasite Pals give some irritation but much fun and love is to be shared.”

2004.06.24: Since top-100 lists are for pansies, the NY Times weighs in with a list of the 1,000 best movies ever made.

2004.06.22: Tearing apart a recent book on punctuation for, among other reasons, poor punctuation.

2004.06.18: To rewrite the O.E. Dictionary,

in a manner less haute literary,

OEDILF
kicks

words into limericks,

defining them so well it’s scary.

2004.06.18: Restaurant Week’s a comin’ – reserve a table now.

2004.06.17: A very useful post on Ask MeFi about how to kill people and dispose of their bodies.

2004.06.16: Paul Ford explains why it’s tough to be a geek.

2004.06.15: After analyzing thousands of Pitchfork music reviews, a computer scientist writes songs the reviewers are bound to like.

2004.06.12: 1. For every subject, there are only two things you really need to know.

2. Everything else is just the application of those two things.

2004.06.12: Not only can money not buy you happiness, it apparently can’t even buy you sex.

2004.06.07: With the power of Google Answers, debunking a popular trivia email forward.

2004.06.07: Expanding the investigative power of the documentary film form, here comes Combover, the Movie.

2004.06.07: In a pleasant surprise, the much-deserving Avenue Q takes the Tony for Best Musical.

2004.06.06: Looking back at the top ten stupid memes that have swept across the internet.

2004.06.06: A classic geek game, Petals Around the Rose has frustrated some of technology’s best minds. Try it yourself.

2004.06.04: In prime form, Viceland explains why STDs aren’t so scary after all.

2004.06.04: One of the greatest commercials, ever.

2004.06.03: Now that summer fruits and veggies are here, pack your freezer full for year-round healthy eating.

2004.06.03: A panel of leading economists suggests a priority order for addressing the world’s social problems, in an effort to focus the attack on those areas most likely to yield the largest advances from our often resource-limited efforts.

2004.06.02: The lovely Bazima tallies the notches on her bedpost.

2004.06.02: While stem cell research is steeped in controversy, very few people have moral problems with fertility clinics, which use nearly identical techniques.

2004.06.01: While many have idly speculated, the Museum of Hoaxes seems to be the first to lay out a convincing argument for the secret identity of Hollywood blogger Rance.

2004.06.01: “Things That Might Fly If You Put Enough Rockets on Them”, and other important topics, discussed monthly at Dorkbot.

2004.06.01: Do tiny crustaceans, called copepods, make NYC tap water not kosher?

2004.06.01: Sadly, your favorite musician has shitty taste.

2004.06.01: Always wanted to become an l33t hacker? Here’s everything you need to know.

2004.06.01: how to seem smarter

2004.05.31: daily da vinci

2004.05.28: red dotss

2004.05.27: potential vp’s

2004.05.27: play pump and

q-drum

2004.05.26: hive–mind
power

2004.05.26: innumeracy

2004.05.26: gore speaks

2004.05.26: how public is npr?

2004.05.26: cookie mongoloid

2004.05.25: toyota concept car

2004.05.25: google bomb list

2004.05.24: bush: the jesus factor

2004.05.20: troy, abridged

2004.05.20: cornstarch [wmv]

2004.05.20: bitch hit my truck

2004.05.20: pin-up cartoons

2004.05.19: the bunion

2004.05.19: jon stewart speech

2004.05.19: cover letter tips

2004.05.19: hands-free panda

2004.05.18: the tyranny of email

2004.05.18: no sex, no babies

2004.05.18: gay marriage

2004.05.18: fifty word fiction

2004.05.18: name that candybar

2004.05.17: japanese ice cream

2004.05.17: dining on everest

2004.05.17: people i have written on

2004.05.16: world sexual records

2004.05.14: the incredibles trailer

2004.05.14: toks, inc.

2004.05.14: anti-hiv virus

2004.05.13: bush/giuliani?

2004.05.13: johnkerryisadouchebagbut
imvotingforhimanyway.com

2004.05.13: junk dna

2004.05.13: reading with the enemy

2004.05.13: zimbardo & abu ghraib

2004.05.12: 532875 joshuas

2004.05.12: minimalist flashlight

2004.05.12: infinite number of monkeys

2004.05.11: manhattan waiter

2004.05.11: zogby calls kerry

2004.05.11: hatfield-mccoy photos

2004.05.11: un-redacting

2004.05.10: la phil plays final fantasy

2004.05.10: teatro dei bugiardi

2004.05.10: suburban lofts

2004.05.10: camera phone tips

2004.05.08: internet entendre

2004.05.08: skip lunch fight hunger

2004.05.07: researching happiness

2004.05.07: staying with scientologists

2004.05.06: morons for bush

2004.05.06: infinite cat project

2004.05.06: see the gorilla?

2004.05.04: shining with bunnies

2004.05.04: hair

history

2004.05.04: cells are new cars

2004.05.04: understanding colds

2004.05.03: digging a hole

2004.05.03: sex in film

2004.05.03: kerryoke

2004.05.02: gunther

2004.05.02: foreign commercials

2004.05.02: johnny cash monkey

2004.05.01: pac manhattan

2004.05.01: bananaphone

2004.05.01: pocketbikes

2004.05.01: barroom photography

2004.04.30: marshmallows at lightspeed

2004.04.30: kikkoman flash

2004.04.30: asl dictionary

2004.04.29: mario saga, pt. 4

2004.04.29: squirrel on atkins

2004.04.29: stupid movie physics

2004.04.29: syntehtic life

2004.04.29: gps drawing

2004.04.29: grilling valenti

2004.04.28: word oddities

2004.04.28: nicosphere 3000

2004.04.27: good wife’s guide

2004.04.27: lincoln convention

2004.04.27: ebay wedding dress

2004.04.27: otoftc

2004.04.27: free ice cream (also)

2004.04.27: making good mp3s

2004.04.26: pinhole photo day

2004.04.25: the value of good sex

2004.04.25: hey crackhead

2004.04.24: handy phrasebook

2004.04.20: drink-o-meter

2004.04.17: in search of happiness

2004.04.17: peeps challenge

2004.04.15: become a ninja

2004.04.14: blog rubric

2004.04.14: rating cupcakes

2004.04.14: understanding kill bill

2004.04.14: transparent duct tape

2004.04.14: underoo packages

2004.04.14: omlet eglu

2004.04.13: macgyverisms

2004.04.13: livejournal images

2004.04.13: yale copies wesleyan

2004.04.13: amazin’ beer chiller

2004.04.11: nature-based color

2004.04.10: marge in maxim

2004.04.10: kosher circus

2004.04.09: $14 steadycam

2004.04.08: bribing maitre d’s

2004.04.08: size matters

2004.04.08: how jazz works

2004.04.08: one leg ddr

2004.04.08: jazz haiku

2004.04.07: two masters

2004.04.07: identifont

2004.04.07: pavlov for speeding

2004.04.07: dodgeball.social

2004.04.07: clothing faces

2004.04.07: spelling viagra

2004.04.07: hidden gems

2004.04.06: “t” is for trivia

2004.04.06: toilets of the world

2004.04.06: seinfeld & superman

2004.04.06: anti-bush wash tagr

2004.04.05: 9/11 preventable

2004.04.05: on friendster

2004.04.02: museum of bad art

2004.04.02: sex makes you smart

2004.04.01: hating april fools

2004.04.01: top 100 hoaxes

2004.03.31: grading flags

2004.03.30: origami kaiju

2004.03.30: scubadoo

2004.03.30: french anime

2004.03.29: bad trailer

2004.03.29: good trailer

2004.03.29: charlie brown, existentialist

2004.03.29: google design change

2004.03.29: highbrow guttermouth

2004.03.29: factcheck.org

2004.03.27: brief safe

2004.03.27: senator’s jokes

2004.03.27: barbie mods

2004.03.27: future me

2004.03.27: growing gummies

2004.03.22: worldbuilder

2004.03.22: non-electric
refrigerator

2004.03.21: biblical marriage law

2004.03.21: drunken goals

2004.03.19: bad band names

2004.03.19: boohbah

2004.03.19: di kats der payats

2004.03.19: moisture farming

2004.03.19: peguin game II

2004.03.19: currency origami

2004.03.18: mispronounced words

2004.03.18: fart in a jar

2004.03.18: google phonebook

2004.03.18: usb hello kitty

2004.03.15: exercises in style

2004.03.15: speed-typing game

2004.03.15: makeup tips for goths

2004.03.15: national corndog day

2004.03.15: whitney biennial

2004.03.11: bunny exorcist

2004.03.11: trumpet robot

2004.03.11: shakespeare networks

2004.03.10: la mating cry

2004.03.10: movieoke

2004.03.10: fat kills

2004.03.10: no sex, but std’s still

2004.03.10: chris rock’s number”

2004.03.10: self-checkout tips

2004.03.09: nsfw origami

2004.03.09: point/counterpoint

2004.03.08: punk kids clothes

2004.03.08: kenny g / jay z

2004.03.08: interpret your dreams

2004.03.04: world subways

2004.03.04: making fiends

2004.03.03: handy aramaic

2004.03.03: awful plastic surgery

2004.03.03: calvin & hobbes search

2004.03.03: videogam porn

2004.03.03: this to that

2004.03.02: kerry worries.

2004.03.02: don’t be mad

2004.03.02: seussentennial

2004.03.02: stairway to satan

2004.03.01: beyond compare

2004.03.01: scary fish

2004.03.01: samish-sex marriages

2004.03.01: cabby charm school

2004.03.01: eco-traitor?

2004.02.29: condensed novels

2004.02.27: time-lapse video

2004.02.27: russian talkshow fight

2004.02.27: matchstick rockets

2004.02.27: netflix for books

2004.02.27: ‘passion’ kills

2004.02.27: bush quiz

2004.02.27: ny gay weddings?

2004.02.26: warthog launch

2004.02.26: ahoy ahoy

2004.02.26: pn’c in time

2004.02.26: mario tragedy, act 1, 2, 3

2004.02.26: social climbing

2004.02.26: toothpick carvings

2004.02.26: net in ’96 vs ’04

2004.02.25: how i see the u.s.

2004.02.25: democrat pyshology

2004.02.25: cat-with-hands

2004.02.24: engagement faq

2004.02.24: weird toys

2004.02.24: draft moore

2004.02.24: gorey book covers

2004.02.24: che babies

2004.02.23: ny romscapes

2004.02.23: support story

2004.02.23: subway changes (pdf)

2004.02.23: de ja vu

2004.02.23: molecule names

2004.02.22: imaginary girlfriends

2004.02.22: s&tc’s new york

2004.02.21: the new black

2004.02.21: history today

2004.02.21: draw your boss

2004.02.21: costumed babies

2004.02.21: medieval qveere eye

2004.02.21: 8up

2004.02.19: attraction test

2004.02.19: big gay bouquet

2004.02.18: how to cheat

2004.02.18: pring pon

2004.02.18: barcode yourself

2004.02.18: dean suspends campaign

2004.02.18: win pepsi itunes

2004.02.18: dave chappelle

2004.02.17: kevin’s sketchbook

2004.02.17: teen finds self

2004.02.17: brevity

2004.02.17: bill hicks

2004.02.17: ken & barbie split

2004.02.16: polaroid on outkast

2004.02.16: is ulysses good?

2004.02.16: fish cameras

2004.02.16: us food faq

2004.02.15: freud & jung

2004.02.15: cell jamming

2004.02.15: love chemistry

2004.02.14: secret life

2004.02.14: calvin/hobbes/fight club

2004.02.14: very odd game

2004.02.14: creepy valentines

2004.02.14: your brain in love

2004.02.13: i love egg

2004.02.13: rose prices

2004.02.13: love graffiti

2004.02.13: bush/kerry timeline

2004.02.13: m&m packing

2004.02.12: balloons in space

2004.02.12: atkins skinny?

2004.02.12: obfuscation

2004.02.12: card moves

2004.02.11: harvard porn

2004.02.11: poodle hair

2004.02.11: ’70s nyc

2004.02.11: latte vs. latte

2004.02.11: flickr

2004.02.10: pirate bathroom 2

2004.02.10: pirate bathroom

2004.02.10: gay penguin dads

2004.02.10: bush or palpatine?

2004.02.10: auction oddities

2004.02.10: valentine potato

2004.02.10: spec commercials

2004.02.09: bohemian index

2004.02.09: email posterity

2004.02.09: cowboy monkey

2004.02.09: freshdirect

2004.02.09: mao of poo

2004.02.08: harmon’s blind date

2004.02.08: what to rent

2004.02.08: laundry monitor

2004.02.08: william hung

2004.02.08: wi-fi ethics

2004.02.08: in defense of football

2004.02.06: overqualified

2004.02.06: kiss and tell

2004.02.06: snowman porn

2004.02.06: skeptic’s dictionary

2004.02.06: swearing severity

2004.02.06: touchy feely

2004.02.05: silent itunes

2004.02.05: nibbles

2004.02.04: alternative valentines

2004.02.04: people support downloads

2004.02.04: biotech anti-activist

2004.02.04: pizza party usa

2004.02.04: li’l g n’r

2004.02.04: old guy climbs

2004.02.03: 6 trick

2004.02.03: id checks flawed

2004.02.03: old wives tales

2004.02.02: nanotech overview

2004.02.02: super bowl ads

2004.02.02: nyc salaries

2004.02.02: janet’s breast

2004.02.02: super bowl streaker

2004.02.01: moveon’s censored ad

2004.02.01: super bowl myths

2004.02.01: non-fan football guide

2004.02.01: translating ludacris

2004.02.01: crappy but fun game

2004.02.01: kids on classic rock

2004.01.31: helpful tips

2004.01.30: ladies, start voting

2004.01.30: panda porn

2004.01.30: ads are stupid

2004.01.30: pickled dragon

2004.01.30: pixar dumps disney

2004.01.29: world license plates

2004.01.29: kitchen bacterium

2004.01.29: bush helps arts

2004.01.29: yarmulkebra

2004.01.28: best game ever

2004.01.28: taxi price hike

2004.01.28: imaginary girlfriends

2004.01.28: 10 writing mistakes

2004.01.28: infomercial reviews

2004.01.28: kaba kick

2004.01.28: colder than mars

2004.01.27: advocacy flash

2004.01.27: gay boyfriend’

2004.01.27: grooving kittens

2004.01.27: on selling cars

2004.01.27: we’re not neanderthals

2004.01.26: how was she

2004.01.26: cockney rhyming slang

2004.01.26: solving homelessness

2004.01.26: mac stories

2004.01.26: lotr is wiz of oz?

2004.01.25: ghost towns

2004.01.25: ikea as videogame

2004.01.24: tyranny of copyright

2004.01.24: kazaa sues records co’s

2004.01.24: the fat project

2004.01.24: nerd marriage proposal

2004.01.23: l&o coloring book

2004.01.23: like gawker for dc

2004.01.22: penguin batting

2004.01.22: sleep makes you smart

2004.01.22: unpopular names

2004.01.21: body parts freezer

2004.01.21: no brooklyn ‘oy vey’

2004.01.21: more on sucky s.o.t.u.

2004.01.21: why the s.o.t.u. sucked

2004.01.21: primaries dummy guide

2004.01.20: secret apple computer

2004.01.20: interior cleaning required

2004.01.20: state of the union drinking game

2004.01.20: virtual dogshit creator

2004.01.19: group hug

2004.01.19: nollywood

2004.01.19: metrosexual quiz

2004.01.18: something positive

2004.01.18: fire-powered hot tub

2004.01.17: coining ‘metrosexual’

2004.01.16: republicans for dean

2004.01.15: the web’s color

2004.01.15: walmart monopoly

2004.01.15: 296 accents

2004.01.15: be a woo-woo

2004.01.15: generic rap song

2004.01.15: other people’s stories

2004.01.14: noodling

2004.01.14: extreme segway

2004.01.14: bugmenot

2004.01.14: minimalist porn

2004.01.14: chicken-suit thief

2004.01.14: woody allen on physics

2004.01.13: mrs. dean

2004.01.13: colored smoke

2004.01.13: speed acrobat 6 load

2004.01.13: new google tools

2004.01.12: abandoned bikes

2004.01.12: better pay = safer cabs

2004.01.12: larry david

2004.01.12: howard “angry” dean

2004.01.11: beer goggles

2004.01.11: runners’ high = pot

2004.01.11: your scrabble score

2004.01.11: outsider art

2004.01.10: bad fashion photos

2004.01.10: u.s. kids fattest

2004.01.10: how to deconstruct

2004.01.09: busking wisdom

2004.01.09: acid drawings

2004.01.09: dead end job journal

2003.11.13: size matters

2003.11.13: time to leave home?

2003.11.13: cool inventions

2003.11.12: deleted matrix scenes

2003.11.12: tv & public interest

2003.11.12: guy spa anxiety

2003.11.11: buy this book

2003.11.11: straight plan

2003.11.10: discardia

2003.11.10: angora rabbits

2003.11.10: the meatrix

2003.11.10: internet killed the pornmag star

2003.11.09: ebay feedback

2003.11.09: bag beds

2003.11.07: antagonyms

2003.11.07: city creator

2003.11.07: queer eye drinking game

2003.11.06: trojan games

2003.11.06: flash madness: good

2003.11.06: flash madness: bad

2003.11.06: stair diving

2003.11.05: fish farting

2003.11.05: nyc loves cupcakes

2003.11.05: college newspapers

2003.11.04: kangaroo scrotum

2003.11.04: koala poo earrings

2003.11.04: biz card cartoons

2003.11.04: 80’s music quiz

2003.11.03: rumsfield’s mojo

2003.11.03: bad album covers

2003.11.02: totally sidetalkin

2003.11.02: the picture of everything

2003.11.01: cell division

2003.11.01: aeron wheelchair

2003.10.31: brains4zombies

2003.10.31: broke? kill yourself

2003.10.31: tnemezidnargga-fles

2003.10.31: mini kiss

2003.10.30: who to vote for

2003.10.30: tina fey

2003.10.30: bunny tastes good

2003.10.29: hipster kitsch

2003.10.29: goodbye cruller world

2003.10.29: 80’s nostalgia

2003.10.28: freezer storage chart

2003.10.28: starbucks celebs

2003.10.28: traffic mayhem

2003.10.28: drugs for sports

2003.10.27: extreme pumpkins

2003.10.26: nano-velcro

2003.10.25: amazon vs. google

2003.10.24: plussed

2003.10.24: bad covers

2003.10.24: redistricting

2003.10.23: how much is inside?

2003.10.23: scan me

2003.10.22: rip elliott smith

2003.10.21: new walk signs

2003.10.21: kindergarden for men

2003.10.21: cabby complaints up

2003.10.20: monkey brain robots

2003.10.20: cursing bush

2003.10.20: old games, new kids

2003.10.19: hacking tsa

2003.10.19: photo in a photo in a

2003.10.16: baby got back

2003.10.16: itunes for windows

2003.10.14: shoes with butter

2003.10.13: sex is good for you

2003.10.13: rejection hurts

2003.10.10: bueller time

2003.10.10: colored money

2003.10.09: bush the poet

2003.10.09: adult shadow puppets

2003.10.08: bueller time

2003.10.08: multiple animals

2003.10.08: new york changing

2003.10.07: internet tennis

2003.10.07: fake indie cred

2003.10.06: do not call

2003.10.06: mingus on cat peeing

2003.10.05: monkey poetry

2003.10.05: monkey lander

2003.10.04: dvd easter eggs

2003.10.04: chicks know hot

2003.10.04: bubble trouble

2003.10.03: office game

2003.10.03: tv news -> idiots

2003.10.03: learn asl

2003.10.03: cookie crumbles

2003.10.02: branded kid names

2003.10.02: tough customer

2003.10.02: snes endings

2003.10.02: prayer saves

2003.10.02: undyrug

2003.10.01: strange persons

2003.10.01: fried food

2003.10.01: selling the moon

2003.10.01: caging great whites

2003.09.30: japanese sex toy

2003.09.30: mba dating

2003.09.29: oral sex ban

2003.09.29: lotr trailer

2003.09.29: show and tell

2003.09.29: bathe often

2003.09.28: men endangered?

2003.09.28: skulls

2003.09.25: print money

2003.09.25: terry gross

2003.09.25: frankenfood good?

2003.09.25: fast electric car

2003.09.24: throwing shoes

2003.09.23: bill murray

2003.09.23: moving to nyc

2003.09.23: cheeseburger fries

2003.09.23: chaps man

2003.09.22: monkey justice

2003.09.22: monkey rescue

2003.09.22: kids on radiohead

2003.09.22: beard championships

2003.09.22: monopoly math

2003.09.19: aquada

2003.09.19: differences

2003.09.19: thief on a roll

2003.09.18: how to

2003.09.18: supermarket searching

2003.09.18: snapple not healthy

2003.09.18: open crotch pants

2003.09.18: Lost in Translation: A+

2003.09.18: defense coloring book

2003.09.17: dissent

2003.09.17: nyc hurricane evacuation

2003.09.16: feigning taste

2003.09.16: home improvement

2003.09.16: sleep position psych

2003.09.15: broken hearts

2003.09.15: $200 bill

2003.09.15: film theory is crap

2003.09.15: inside purses

2003.09.14: talk like a pirate day

2003.09.14: testicle theater

2003.09.14: The Cruise: B+

2003.09.12: r.i.p. cash and ritter

2003.09.12: luciferous logolepsy

2003.09.12: nyc eats

2003.09.12: catch33

2003.09.10: riaa alienates customers

2003.09.08: answer to life, the universe, and everything

2003.09.08: is jeeves gay?

2003.09.08: babelizer

2003.09.06: 5 second rule

2003.09.06: being tupac shakur

2003.09.06: war ain’t cheap

2003.09.04: reference books

2003.09.04: venice film fest

2003.09.03: past futon sex

2003.09.03: uber etch-a-sketch

2003.09.03: how stuff’s made

2003.08.29: reference books

2003.08.29: complimentary currency

2003.08.28: fetosoap

2003.08.28: monopoly cards

2003.08.28: santa’s dead

2003.08.28: nyc drivers license

2003.08.27: The Battle of Shaker Heights: C-

2003.08.27: tissue minimalism

2003.08.27: jump the shark

2003.08.24: Hollywood Ending: C

2003.08.24: good news

2003.08.23: house gymnastics

2003.08.23: 40 oz. archive

2003.08.22: pickup line roadtest

2003.08.22: watergun museum

2003.08.22: under new york

2003.08.21: Thirteen: B

2003.08.21: marry my daughter

2003.08.21: naked sushi

2003.08.21: time cube

2003.08.20: things we have learned

2003.08.20: American Splendor: A

2003.08.19: good news for jews

2003.08.19: lemmings

2003.08.19: Le Divorce: B-

2003.08.18: accents

2003.08.18: Open Range: B+

2003.08.18: google calculator

2003.08.17: earworms

2003.08.17: she has my vote

2003.08.17: phonecam blackout pics

2003.08.16: hotdog sculptures

2003.08.16: diversity is dead

2003.08.06: chihuahua gored

2003.08.06: nyc private clubs

2003.08.06: pro-level whistler

2003.08.06: national prayer day

2003.08.06: old radio shows

2003.08.05: music piracy

2003.08.05: multitasking fun

2003.08.05: no surrender

2003.08.04: illustrated acme catalog

2003.08.04: don’t touch the walls

2003.08.04: duckies at sea

2003.08.03: custom bling bling

2003.08.03: Mustard Museum

2003.08.02: ASCII Movies

2003.08.02: sucks for us assholes

2003.07.31: plastic balls

2003.07.31: friendster power games

2003.07.30: biz casual = healthy

2003.07.30: is bush gay?

2003.07.29: year of the pelvis

2003.07.29: read moby dick

2003.07.29: nyc = single women

2003.07.28: on being good

2003.07.28: sars doodle duel

2003.07.28: creationist science fair

2003.07.28: williamsburg is dead

2003.07.26: mark twain quotes

2003.07.26: best optical illusion ever

2003.07.26: fish game

2003.07.26: ex-boyfriend b-day poems

2003.07.25: pre-achievement celebs

2003.07.25: stuffing a trailblazer

2003.07.25: working for liz grubman

2003.07.25: get into guinness

2003.07.25: strange video game

2003.07.25: make tech money

2003.07.23: genetic algorithms

2003.07.23: freelancer’s diary

2003.07.23: red lobster in my ‘hood

2003.07.22: alcoholic spring water

2003.07.22: california secession

2003.07.22: public poopers in nyc

2003.07.22: hydrogen poor solution?

2003.07.22: eat a slice

2003.07.21: amazon vs google?

2003.07.21: atm fraud

2003.07.20: SF second to SJ?

2003.07.19: adult netflix

2003.07.19: game of life

2003.07.18: judging books by covers

2003.07.18: on-demand publishing

2003.07.18: soon-to-break scandal

2003.07.18: stupid is as stupid does

2003.07.17: girls are pretty

2003.07.16: my hobby pays off

2003.07.16: luxury camping

2003.07.16: olympics in nyc?

2003.07.16: subways remain rip-off

2003.07.16: sentenced to read

2003.07.15: future of car safety

2003.07.15: girls liars about sex

2003.07.15: big spendin’ bush

2003.07.15: new indie theater

2003.07.15: amputee wannabees

2003.07.14: jon stewart is my hero

2003.07.14: terrapin robin hood

2003.07.12: baby name popularity

2003.07.12: music and personality

2003.07.11: sad, shocking news

2003.07.11: irony, defined

2003.07.10: marriage tames men

2003.07.10: jet-set dating

2003.07.10: walk on the ceiling

2003.07.09: mario on the piano

2003.07.09: anagram machine

2003.07.09: backfire pictures

2003.07.08: creepy deep sea fish

2003.07.08: octodog

2003.07.08: keillor fiction

2003.07.07: a singe of god

2003.07.07: as seen on tv

2003.07.06: traffic simulation

2003.07.06: rip barry white

2003.07.06: matchstick rockets

2003.07.06: stop telemarketers

2003.07.02: chemist’s stain tips

2003.07.02: braille potter – 13 volumes

2003.06.30: champion air-guitarist

2003.06.30: hearn wedding

2003.06.29: porn addiction ecards

2003.06.28: pot safe for brains

2003.06.28: internet porn addiction

2003.06.27: prohibition hotties

2003.06.27: friendster passes paypal

2003.06.27: analyzing trl

2003.06.27: trace coke on euros

2003.06.27: hamptons gone wild

2003.06.25: politics & booty

2003.06.25: the right to boogie

2003.06.25: helpful correspondence

2003.06.19: physics of steak

2003.06.19: boring3D

2003.06.19: abandoned subway stations

2003.06.17: oed updates

2003.06.17: urban exploration

2003.06.17: americans are idiots

2003.06.17: issues for young jews

2003.06.16: porn school

2003.06.16: controversial psa

2003.06.16: abridged scipts

2003.06.15: on new york living

2003.06.14: miniature jews

2003.06.13: extreme ironing

2003.06.13: house gymnastics

2003.06.13: our president

2003.06.13: nigerian email conference

2003.06.12: cat costumes

2003.06.12: broken saints

2003.06.11: atlas shrugged 2

2003.06.11: springer for senate?

2003.06.11: the crisis in pubic hair

2003.06.11: vonage voice over ip

2003.06.10: ny restaurant week

2003.06.09: apple to buy napster?

2003.06.09: anonymous travel rights

2003.06.09: following the chaps man

2003.06.08: plus-size beach resort

2003.06.08: the biniki butt bra

2003.06.06: finding nemo is fiction!

2003.06.06: chicken catcher

2003.06.05: eighties ending

2003.06.05: offensive shirts

2003.06.05: schoolyard fun

2003.06.04: hand vaginas

2003.06.04: gay reality tv

2003.06.04: white trash clothing

2003.06.04: itunes goes indie

2003.06.03: credit card signatures

2003.06.03: mess with your neighbors

2003.06.02: neo-nazi movie reviews

2003.06.02: gecko tape

2003.06.02: out-wunderkinded

2003.06.02: ny phil moves to carnegie

2003.06.01: domestic squalor

2003.06.01: oddly, I was once offered this type of job

2003.06.01: sour puss

2003.06.01: the high cost of tax cuts

2003.05.31: daikon odori

2003.05.31: bad cyber

2003.05.31: explodingdog

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Wu Wei

While the rumor of a Verizon iPhone floats every six months or so, it appears we may really be coming down the home stretch now. As a seasoned Apple fan (dating back to an original Macintosh, and even passing through a Newton en route to present day), my gut sense confirms that we’ll actually see a Verizon iPhone at the start of 2011. And, when we do, I’ll still be sticking it out with AT&T.

Sure, service on AT&T blows goats. But not because there are fundamental flaws with AT&T’s network. Instead, it’s because all the iPhone users are on the same network, totally overwhelming AT&T’s infrastructure.

A dropped call, for example, isn’t a network flaw – it’s a feature. Let’s say you have network capacity for two calls, and three people dialing away. You can piss off all three by connecting all of their calls, sharing the bandwidth equally, and making all three calls equally unintelligible. Or you can make two calls work perfectly, and simply boot the third off the network. That’s what most cell networks do. So, how do you fix the problem? Increase the capacity of the network. Which, in fact, AT&T has been doing quickly over the past few years. Problem is, Apple has been selling iPhones and iPads even more quickly. Net net, that leaves AT&T’s network falling even further behind.

Of course, the other solution is to keep the network the same, but to get rid of users. Imagine if, as some recent surveys indicate, half of all iPhone owners jumped to Verizon, given the chance.

At that point, AT&T’s network would work great. They’d have tons of bandwidth to spare.

Whereas Verizon’s would suddenly be the network blowing goats, overwhelmed by the huge deluge of incoming iPhone users.

And the kicker: a large percentage of those escapees would have paid hefty termination fees for the privilege of heading to the now shittier network.

In other words, as ever, a combination of sloth and totally ignoring the problem turns out to be the best possible choice.

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Fill the Gap

Venture capital funds invest in fast-growing, early-stage companies, in ‘sexy’ industries like high tech, biotech, or green energy.

Investment banks chase larger, more mature companies in those same industries, as potential IPO’s or M&A sellers.

Private equity funds seek out similarly large, mature properties, though in ‘stodgier’ industries, often where hard assets work as collateral for lower cost secured debt.

Who invests in early-stage companies in those stodgy industries?

It turns out, nobody.

cyanmatrix.png

Consider this: while LBO firms were quick to pounce on Hertz (in one of the industry’s largest deals ever), Zipcar (founded in 2000, just filed for IPO) was unable to raise VC dollars for its first six years (until Benchmark led a $10m round in 2006).

[Target, locked](http://www.self-aggrandizement.com/archives/101510_the_old_new_new_thing.html).

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Burbs

For the past four years we’ve been living together, Jess and I have been in the apartment she rightly calls my former bachelor pad. So we’ve been looking, for a while, for a next place to live.

As of now, we don’t have kids. But, in the next few years, we’re likely to pop out a first. Which adds a whole new level of complication to the search. Ideally, we’d find a two bedroom. But if we’re looking to buy, rather than rent, here in Manhattan, nice two bedroom / two baths easily creep up to the $2m mark. Which is, obviously, ridiculous. And while Brooklyn is cheaper, it isn’t hugely so.

Plus, of course, there’s the issue of schools – New York being a place where parents unblinkingly spend $30k a year to send their child to pre-school, though only after having pulled strings and competed for slots in the “right” ones.

In the rest of the country, this is the prime argument for the suburbs. And, indeed, 25 years ago, someone with kids in Manhattan (aside from multi-generationally wealthy New York families who send their kids as legacies to Chapin) would have already moved out. Staying in the city meant having essentially failed; the nice house in the suburbs was the overt goal.

Amongst my peers, however, the equation has flipped. We apparently all want to stay. Moving to the suburbs is, it seems, an admission of defeat, a sign you couldn’t make it in the city.

Unfortunately, the math doesn’t work in this new world order. While more and more of us want in rather than out, the number of two and three bedroom apartments, and the number of slots in good schools, has remained largely the same.

But the suburbs of New York are equally problematic. Most, for example, are a surprisingly long commute away. Unlike other US metros, that are now populating their first wave of suburbs, New York is working on it’s second or third. It could be argued that New York, in fact, largely invented the suburb, with families initially moving on up to outer Queens and Brooklyn, upper Bronx, or Staten Island.

By now, however, Sunnyside or Yonkers have long since reached their peak, and starkly declined. So the real estate that would elsewhere hold prime post-city living has instead become no-mans-land, thirty minutes of commute to be passed through. (Though perhaps this isn’t entirely new, but simply enlarged, since Fitzgerald trained past the ‘valley of ashes’, en route to the ‘East Egg’ of Great Neck eighty years back.)

As a result, even New York hedge fund partners pay good money to commute to lower Connecticut, as much as an hour and a half each way.

And with most of those suburbs, there’s the issue of what you find when you get there. I grew up in Palo Alto, CA; Jess in Newton, MA. While both are ostensibly suburbs, they’re more accurately small cities that just happen to be near larger cities (San Francisco and Boston, respectively). Whereas many suburbs of New York are really suburbs. The two restaurants they have close at 9:00. On the plus side, they don’t have a Starbucks; and, on the downside, they don’t have a Starbucks.

All of which leaves Jess and me without much of a clue what to do next. We’re busy looking, weighing the advantages of a grocery store down the block against not finding somebody else’s underwear somehow mixed in with your laundry after a trip to the building’s ill-maintained laundry facility.
Fortunately, as demand and property taxes are working against us no matter what we choose, at least we’ll find a way to pay more than it’s worth for a solution that’s less optimal than it would be anywhere else. God bless New York.

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