Shaggy Dog Story

I was due for a haircut at the end of February, just as I was starting to worry about the possibility of a COVID-19 pandemic.  At that point, barbershops (like everything else) were still open.  But as I was ahead of the curve on worry – and therefore also on social distancing – I decided to exercise an abundance of caution, and held off.

By now, however, I’m starting to wonder about the wisdom of that choice.  Just a few weeks in, and I’m already looking pretty feral.  Jess has volunteered her help – she’s said she’d even be willing to watch a couple of YouTube videos on technique before coming at me with the clippers.  Though, with apologies to her, in this case, I think the cure really might be worse than the disease.

I’d consider just buzzing it all off, but I did that unintentionally about 18 months ago (I thought the barber was asking how long I wanted the sides, he thought he was asking how long I wanted the top, and it turns out a ‘two’ is a pretty close cut), and it took long enough to grow back that I’d rather skip the option if possible.

So, for the moment, I’m just rolling with it.  Even if I’ve now reached a phase where, despite increased length, my hair mostly sticks straight up in the air, giving me a definite Jimmy Neutron vibe.

Or, at least, it would be, if I weren’t ruining the look with an increasingly heavy beard.  I’d say it was sort of a ‘Jimmy Neutron of the Mountains.’  But, as I’m disappointed to discover each time I grow one out, a month of beard on me says less ‘rugged,’ and more ‘rabbinical.’

These are tough times indeed.

Bloody Virus

As I was recently reading about the disparate COVID-19 risk of different blood types, I realized that I don’t actually know my own.

Jess is 0+, which fortunately puts her at lowered risk.  My parents, who I called for any insights / memories from my childhood, are unfortunately riskier types A and B.  They also didn’t know my type.  And, given theirs, I could literally be any of the four: A, B, AB, or O.

So, not at all sure what this research means for me in the short term.  But, in the slightly longer term, it’s definitely put ‘donate blood’ on my to-do list.  Both because it’s a good thing to do, and because (more selfishly) it’s probably my best route for figuring that out.

Still, between being type 0, and being both younger and female-er than me, I at least now know Jess should be at substantially lower risk overall.  I initially thought about suggesting that meant she should be the one who heads out to check our mail and pick up packages.  Though I vetoed that idea pretty quickly, as I realized doing so might provide an even more immediate risk to my health.

Planted

A few years back, while we were all visiting the New York Botanical Garden up in the Bronx, my mother bought Jess a small, creeping, cactus-like succulent.  Jess named him Tiny Tim, and placed him next to Moe, our thriving Jade plant (who had likely grown lonely, since the deaths of his two previously adjacent plants, Larry and Curly), on the window sill.

Since then, presumably under Moe’s leadership, Tim continued to grow, and grow.  Not just his initial main stalk, but also about a dozen tinier Tims, who sprouted up where his leaves fell.  Until it was pretty clear that all the Tims had completely outgrown their small planter.

Fortunately, we already had a couple of larger, unused ones in the cupboard (cf., Larry, Curly), as well as some succulent potting soil stowed under the sink.  So, last week, as a quarantine home improvement project, we replanted Tim into a much, much larger home.

Replanting can be stressful for plants (it’s called transplant shock).  So, after repotting, I kicked off each morning by giving Tim a pep talk.  Which, in turn, inspired Jess to serve up some musical encouragement; ever since, she’s been playing this Music for Plants playlist for him pretty much every single day.

Honestly, I’m not sure how Tim (or, for that matter, Moe) feels about it; they’re both more of the silent type.  But Jess and I, at least. seem to be finding it pretty calming.  So, whether or not you are a plant, or even have any plants, if you’re looking for some soothing sounds to carry you through these shocking times, check it out.

What Makes Music Sound Good?

Was digging through folders on my Mac this week, and stumbled across a long paper I wrote at Yale, back in 2001, on the cognitive science of music – and, particularly, on what makes music sound good. 

It appears I’d forgotten pretty much everything I once knew when I was writing the paper, so it was a fun and fascinating read for the current me.  In case you have too much free time on your hands, and similar interests, the whole thing is below. 

“It is night and the vacant cavern is dim, chilly, still.  A few animals have arrived before the others, bustling about the immense expanse beneath the cavern roof sixty feet above.  From time to time a cry echoes through the chamber and the flurry of activity increases.  And then, all at once, a herd of two thousand shuffles in.

It is a highly territorial species and each animal seeks out its rightful station in the cavern.  Those of highest status roost farthest in; others withdraw to murky alcoves.   Outside, they had cooed and preened, dominated and submitted, but all that is finished now.  It is time to nest.

The cavern visitors are a species of tool users, and when a group of a hundred more enter – individuals with distinctive black and white coloration – they carry oddly shaped wooden boxes and metal tubes to the front of the chamber, where they sit together.  Abruptly, the dominant male struts in, climbs to a position above all the others, and performs a triumph display.  His arrival is greeted by much hooting and clatter… The dominant male suddenly commences an elaborate display, swinging his forelimbs to and fro.  It has begun.

Sound.  Glorious sound.  Sound of a kind little encountered outside the cavern, each tone a choir in itself, pure and enduring.  Patterns ascend to gyrate in midair, then fold into themselves and melt away as even grander designs soar… first it conveys circumspect pleasure.  Then delight.  Then amazement.  Then elation.  For something is emerging from the patterns, something between the tones that is unheard yet is substantial as any sound.  Voices hurl together; bass tones rise above a furious sweep of treble; the sound lowers its horns and charges.  Deep within, there’s a tightening, a verging, a sensation of release from gravity’s pull.  Ecstasy.” (Jourdain, 1996)

Continue…

Feed Me

At this point, we have enough fresh food to make it through the weekend.  And though we have several weeks of frozen / shelf-stable food, I’m trying to keep that untouched.  Based on the number of COVID cases reported already at Amazon warehouses, in freight and shipping and delivery companies, and with grocery store clerks, I can easily envision a world in which the food supply chain grinds more or less to a halt here in NYC.

So, while I can, I’m hoping to restock our fridge.  Which, it seems, will necessitate a trip to the grocery store.  At this point, every single grocery delivery option here – Whole Foods, Amazon Fresh, FreshDirect, PeaPod, Instacart, Shipt, etc. – is entirely booked, some for the full two weeks ahead that they accept orders.  And, even if they weren’t, I’ve started to feel increasingly unsure about the morality of it all. I’m young and healthy, and I don’t see how I can justify paying someone minimum wage to take on equivalent or greater Coronavirus risk on my behalf.

Fortunately, it appears the Fairway supermarket about 15 blocks off is open 24 hours.  Hence the current plan: head there at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, when I can shop with minimum exposure to the biggest source of risk – other shoppers and employees.  Similarly, while I’ve been cooking up a storm thus far, I’m going to try and streamline my next week or two of dishes, to require fewer separate ingredients.  That should help me get in and back out quickly, touching as little as possible along the way.

At this point, leaving the apartment really does feel like something out of a dystopic sci-fi film.  So, channeling my inner Will Smith, and making it work.