Mouse & Bunny

A couple of years back, Jess bought a box of Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies – basically, organic goldfish crackers shaped like rabbits – one afternoon while we were shopping at Whole Foods.  Later that evening, we sat down on the couch to watch a movie, and she brought out the Cheddar Bunnies, to snack on while we watched.

Halfway through the movie, I asked her to hand me a few.  At which point, she looked into the box, then over to me with a guilty smile; she’d unintentionally eaten the entire box.  I told her she’d probably turned into a Cheddar Bunny herself after eating that many of them.  And, from then on, the nickname stuck.

Shortly after, in response, she tagged me Mighty Mouse, I assume due to the trifecta of small size, big ears, and super(-ish) strength.  And ever since, in texts, emails, and notes, we usually address and sign off as Cheddar Bunny and Mighty Mouse.

Jess has a talent for finding awesome greeting cards.  In the past she’s given me great ones for even minor holidays.  (For Halloween, one with a ghost on the cover that read, “You’re my boo!”; another with two skeletons – one in a tux, one in a wedding gown – holding hands: “Till death do us part is for quitters.”)  But inspired by the nickname, she’s also managed to somehow find, and give to me even on random, non-holiday days, dozens and dozens of mouse and bunny-themed cards.  (“You’re wonderful,” with a bunny dressed as Wonder Woman; “You’re somebunny special”; or, for my birthday, a grey bunny holding a slice of birthday cake: “Oh no, another grey hare!”)

As I realized I could never keep up with finding equally excellent cards in response, I decided to go an alternate route, one requiring just raw time spent rather than card-sourcing skill: I started drawing cards for her myself.

Lest that sound overly impressive, I should first caveat with a note about my artistic abilities: you know how, when you’re in kindergarten, you start by drawing stick figures, and then you move on?  Well, I didn’t.  I’d like to think of my style as sort of “outsider art”, though in truth it looks more like something you might buy at a local fair to support an after-school program for severely mentally-disabled children.

Nonetheless, I have enough enthusiasm to trump my lack of talent.  So, after doing a handful of mouse and bunny cards for our anniversary, and Christmas / Chanukah, I went all out for Jess’ 30th birthday, doing 30 cards for the 30 days leading up to it: Mouse and Bunny out for a run, at dinner together, strolling hand in hand through Central Park, etc. And they were a hit.

So, since then, I’ve been sending hand-made cards to the rest of my family.  Some, like my Father’s Day card to my dad, stand alone. (That one illustrated all the generic ‘dad gifts’ my brother and I have managed to skip over the years, whether ties, golf clubs, or bottles of Scotch.)  But other cards extended the world of Mouse and Bunny to include the rest of my family.

That was aided by the fact/weird coincidence that my brother calls his wife “goat” as a term of endearment.  (I have no idea about the origin, but it predates the bunny/mouse thing by several years.)  Therefore, I already knew how to draw my sister-in-law as an animal.  And, since my brother and parents are related to me, I obviously could just draw them as mice, too (just with different hairstyles, etc.).  Then there’s my niece and nephew, though that was also pretty easy to solve: goat parent plus mouse parent equals goat-colored mouse, or mouse-colored goat.  Thus, for my parents’ birthdays, I was able to draw them cards with the whole family (everyone at the beach for my father, at the ballet for my mom), which were also a hit.

Inspired by those successes, a month or two back, I started working on a next-level attempt: a Mouse & Bunny children’s book for Jess.  Though there’s obviously a series waiting to happen here, I started with Mouse & Bunny Go for a Hike.  I loaded it up with inside jokes, small visual gags, and details I knew she’d appreciate.  And though it took me waaaaaay longer than expected to complete, I think the time definitely paid off.

Not, admittedly, in the quality of the drawing itself, which is as bad as ever. (And given Dan Ariely’s research on the so-called Ikea Effect – “people who have created something themselves come to see their amateurish creations as similar in value to expert creations” – it must be even worse than I’m self-assessing.)  But, at least, it paid off in terms of what I hope it communicated to Jess.

As I’d otherwise have trouble putting into words how mind-blowingly, heart-overflowingly wonderful and awesome and amazing she is, or what a perfect match she is for me, those 20-some terribly illustrated pages at least show how far I’m willing to go to try and communicate that love to her nonetheless.

25

Since my freshman year in college, I’ve been using more-or-less the same approach to setting goals: I start from 25-year big-picture ones, and then trace backwards from those to 10-year, 5-year, 1-year, 1-quarter, and 1-month goals in turn.  Then, each Friday, I chart out the following week, figuring out what I need to accomplish over the next seven days to stay on track towards the 1-month goals, knowing that in turn keeps me aligned all the way back up.

Through the years since college, I’ve started companies and worked in jobs across three or four different industries, garnered a ton of life experience, and weathered ups and downs of all sorts; that, in turn, has often shifted my shorter-term goals.  But the longer-term ones—the 25-year goals in particular—have stayed remarkably stable.  So much so, in fact, that the last time I really re-thought them from scratch was when I was about 25 years old.

A month back, I turned 39.  In my usual style, I spent a bunch of my birthday thinking about the year behind and the year ahead.  And it suddenly dawned on me that, when my next birthday rolled around, the putative date for those old 25-year goals would then be just 10 years off, becoming my new de facto 10-year goals.  Which meant, in turn, that I needed a new 25-year set.

Starting from 40, those 25-year goals would take me all the way to 65.  And though I suspect I’d likely be one of those guys who never retires, I would hope by then to be at least well on my way towards leaving whatever legacy or positive impact I can on this world.  So, I’ve been spending a little bit of each day thinking through exactly what I hope that legacy or impact might be, what goals I’d like to set that make me push and stretch for the 25 years that (hopefully) lie ahead.  Much like the effective corporate BHAGs – big, hairy, audacious goals – described in the classic study Good to Great, I’ve been looking for goals that both excite me and slightly scare me.  And I have some, by now, just starting to take shape.

Still, I’m giving myself all the way until the end of this birthday year before I call them final.  If I’m hoping this set holds equally steady for the next 25 years, that probably requires at least a full year’s consideration up front.