Based on some of the misadventures about which I’ve blogged in months and years past, a number of readers (by which I mean, my mother) have likely begun to look into A.A. chapters that meet near my apartment, or perhaps see if they might, as a birthday gift, enroll me early on the liver transplant list.

So, before I come home one evening to a living room intervention, I thought I’d better set the record straight: In point of fact, not only do the vast majority of my evenings not involve liquor at all, most are, further, rather dull. I end up at inane business dinners, or while away evenings banging out emails while curled up on the couch, besweatpantsed, simultaneously (occupational hazard) screening a film.

It’s just that, the other nights, that small minority when I likely am, in fact, causing irreparable biotic harm, tend to be far, far more interesting. So they show up disproportionately in posts on this fair site.

From those intermittent posts, it’s understandable that readers might extrapolate to my leading a life involving a permanent alcohol I.V. (though, actually, if anyone has some good leads on where I can get that set up, certainly shoot me an email). Instead, my life is pretty, remarkably bland, with just enough excitement to, at least occasionally, yield a retelling good enough to warrant your risking corporate wrath by tuning in over lunch break.

In service to that, I figure, the rare bout of cirrhosis is a small price to pay indeed.