to beard or not to beard?

While I’ve immensely enjoyed it thus far, the ongoing facial hair experiment is quickly hurtling towards a serious decision point. Specifically, in about three weeks, I head off to Hawaii for a brief vacation (life is hard, I know), and unless I de-beard preemptively, I’m likely to return to New York with an inverted beard tan. I’d then be forced to skip shaving until the darkest depths of winter, by which time the entirety of my face would presumably return to the faintly fluorescent pale green skin tone that all trapped-indoors-by-office-work New Yorkers seem to possess.

So, there it is: whip out the Gillette today, or stay bearded for the next six months? I’m at such a complete loss that I’m bucking self-aggrandizement tradition and giving you, fair reader, a chance to comment away with your invaluable guidance. Help, help, help!

|  

free advice

If you happen to be going to a karaoke birthday party this evening in the East Village, there will inevitably be a group of guys attending who think it’s really ironic to perform “YMCA”. Which is a shame, because that same group could easily instead perform “Bohemian Rhapsody”, by far the best karaoke song ever, especially if someone is ready to nail the Freddie Mercury part.

|  

satisfied customer

1. In the last thirty days, I’ve received 8,221 pieces of email.

2. Of those, 3,217, or nearly 40%, have been spam.

3. Thanks to Cloudmark’s Spamnet, I haven’t seen more than 100 of the spam emails.

4. Assuming I could have tossed spam manually at a relatively zippy two seconds a piece, Cloudmark saved me an hour and forty-five minutes.

5. That found time, at a cost of just a couple bucks, was more than worth the money, becase when else was I going to read the remaining 165+ daily pieces of legitimate email?

[6. That’s right, more than 165 daily pieces of non-spam email. Would-be entrepreneurs hoping to maintain your sanity: take note of that figure and run while you still can.]

|  

busy bee

As I tuck another year under my belt, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the cyclical nature of life, the never-ending ebb and flow. For months at a time, I’ve noticed, I won’t meet anyone new; then suddenly, for months I find new friends everywhere I look. One week I’ll write with reckless abandon; the next, I have absolutely nothing to say.

Nowhere, however, are such high and low tides more pronounced than in my work. During some stretches, I am the king of procrastination – I slack with the best, happily pissing away hours and days accomplishing absolutely nothing at all. Then, suddenly, I’m hit with a burst of productivity; leaping into action, thrilled by the idea of getting something done, I’m unable to rest until I’ve seen a slew of projects through to completion.

With each passing year, I’ve increasingly embraced that cyclicality. Pushing during a lull, I’ve realized, is simply a waste of time and energy; better simply to enjoy the peace and quiet, waiting for the powerful forward drive of the next motivated stretch.

I say this all by way of apology, because I sat down in my chair this afternoon wildly excited to roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty making extraordinary movies. I’ll do my best to keep blogging regularly, though I must admit it may on some days fall by the wayside; it’s just that I’ve suddenly realized how very much, come hell or high water, I’m about to get done.

|  

[clearing throat]

Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday dear Joshua
Happy Birthday to Me.

A toast! To rounding out 23, the best year of my life thus far. And to 24, a year that looks to be at least twice as good.

|  

spin this

Headed to Soho House this evening to meet the inimitable Choire Sicha for a pre-release screening of Dirty Pretty Things. With a bit of time before the film, we hit the pool-adorned roof deck to mingle with the Fabulous People and chat with a British couple Choire knew. At one point, the conversation turned to weblogs, and the husband delivered the best backhanded compliment I’d heard in months:

“You know,” he said, “I think weblogging may be the new DJ-ing.”

And, sadly, he’s probably right.

|  

farmer style

On my Uncle David’s exceedingly kind invite, spent yesterday making a travesty of eighteen holes of golf out on Long Island. The weather was dismal when we set out, so I embarked sans sunscreen and returned having burned on the World’s Greatest T-Shirt Tan.

Frankly, I think I’ve found my new look.

|  

another brief political interlude

“It is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a parliament or a communist dictatorship … That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.”
-Nazi Reichsmarshall Hermann Goering

|  

small screen revenge

Remember that polo game, years ago, when Biff (that rat bastard) scored his winning goal on your defense, then lifted your girlfriend Delilah onto the back of his horse before galloping off to the country club’s dock and embarking, just the two of them, in his catamaran, leaving you forever behind in the dust? Remember how you’ve hated Biff passionately ever since? Well, finally, here’s you big chance to extract revenge: pit yourself against him in competitive feats of physical prowess, televised nationally!

Too good to be true, you say? Nay! Because my friend Caitlin is casting a new (and possibly quite crappy) reality game show called Bragging Rights, and will totally hook you up. If you’re a guy between the ages of 20 and 40, have a grudge (or at least can fabricate one convincingly and thereby fulfill your lifelong fantasy of making an ass of yourself on national TV), and want to win “valuable prizes”, send an email to braggingrights@atlasmediacorp.com, attn: Caitlin.

Sorry, Biff, but your comeuppance has finally arrived.

|