Joshua Bryce Newman

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing."
- Benjamin Franklin

Velocious Gourmet

While I’ve long intended to eat more salmon, I never managed to work the pink filets into my regular rotation. Too protracted in baking, too prone to disintegration on the trusty Foreman, and stinking up my small apartment with a pungent fishy smell either way, salmon simply seemed too effortful to push me past my inherent laziness in pursuit of Omega 3 -laden benefits.

A week or so back, however, Abigail came over and cooked up a great Japanese-style salmon – in the microwave. Apparently, place a salmon steak in a glass dish, toss in some marinade, nuke it on high for four or five minutes, and the fish comes out baked to flaky perfection, with nearly zero prep, baking time or cleanup.

Always quick to steal good ideas from people smarter than I, in the past week I’ve replicated her high-speed technique, cooking up two separate nuclear-powered batches. Give it a try yourself.

Or, even better, find a hot blonde to come over and cook it for you. I can’t recommend that second option highly enough.

FAQ

In response to the emailed question I most frequently receive:

Q. Are you really this much of a pretentious asshole in real life?

A. Pretty much.